Decadence

My bed arrived yesterday ... and it's beautiful! I'll admit I was a little nervous about the expense and the fact that I expected it would take up the entire room, but it fitted better than I thought and now the expense is but a mere memory for something perfect :)

Last night before Poker I strung up the fairy lights Bean and I had bought on our trip to Thailand. Honestly they've been sitting in a cupboard pretty much the entire time since then!

Either way it's gives me that warm fuzzy feeling every time I see it :) So I was thinking about all the things I like about my new home.

1. Air-con is a bonus, even tho I haven't used it too much yet, I love knowing that I have it available!
2. An Alarm system. Okay so this is also just a bonus. Bean and I had one but Varen was never really one for security (he of forgetting to even lock the house doors :P)
3. My little kitchen and bedroom are really making me smile these days ... next I'll have to get working on the big front room (dining-room lounge area).
4. The bunnies are definitely seeming happier with the additional run-around space and the fact that it hasn't rained since yesterday morning :)
5. I love that I have a proper washing line now (although the rain has severely hampered the use of it)

This weekend I plan to buy a new set of linen for my gorgeous bed and a set of drawers for the bathroom so I can finally unpack all that stuff. Oh and I've decided on pots and pans ... although I'm seeing myself cooking less and less now that I'm cooking for one and out so often. But hopefully once I get the front room furnished and there's no more sitting on the floor, I can start inviting people over for dinner so that I can still get cooking creative ;)

Ah, and with likes there are always dislikes. My primary ones right now (and they're all survivable, just not necessarily aesthetic, you know?) are:

1. The blue office carpeting thruout. Makes me a touch worried about furnishing because hello, I'm pretty sure nothing is going to match that blue carpet!
2. The office blinds (but they're doing the job)
3. The lack of cupboard space / shelves / towel racks in the bathroom. I suddenly started to wonder where on earth I might store my bath towels etc. that aren't in use (you know, when I get around to actually buying some).
4. I haven't been able to clean the bunny-hutch because of all the rain :( And I haven't been able to buy them a hay-bale either because of all the rain! Finger's crossed for this weekend tho!

Abandoned by Cody McFadyen

The woman had been missing for almost eight years. Someone watched her, stalked her, kidnapped her, and held her captive in the dark all that time. No ransom demand, and no suspects. No answers, even now that the woman has been found -- thrown from an unmarked car in front of a beachside wedding -- alive but unbearably traumatised. All she can do is scream. Tracking a kidnapper who appears to have no motive, FBI Special Agent Smoky Barrett and her team are plunged into the most sinister and disturbing case of their careers. Then they start to find the others.

I read this in about 2 days and really quite enjoyed it. I know they think they have a helluva twist at the end, but I wasn't that blown-away by it. Still I'd recommend it as worth reading :) And I may have to consider looking for some other Cody McFadyen books ...

Beds and Bunnies

Shoo, another marvelous weekend filled with retail therapy and friends :) Have I mentioned lately that life is good? Hee hee.

Friday night was another spent lazing at home with Series on my laptop. Saturday morning started early. As you may know, I've been desperately trying to sort out the rest of the fencing for the bunny-enclosure. They've had hardly more than their hutch area to run around in for 2 weeks now and with this weather keeping them hutched even more than usual, I've felt very guilty about it :( So I was determined to get it sorted once and for all on the weekend.



And I did. But not without hours of effort! I'd been to Lifestyle Garden Center (where I got the first 3 pieces of trelis) last weekend and they'd had no stock. I left my name and number and they said they'd call when they got more. So although I should've called them to check on Friday afternoon, the day got away from me and when I tried to search for their number on my blackberry, I discovered their website is worse than useless on a mobile! But needless to say I didn't get a call from them last week either. So on Saturday morning I headed off and hit *every* nursery along Witkoppen Road between 4ways and Clearwater! No where had stock! I was exhausted.

But I decided on my way home to pop by Lifestyle, just in case you know ... and since I'd been every where else that day already why not one more? And they freaking had stock! They had like 20 of them :P I was so annoyed. I coulda just gone directly there and saved myself 2 hours of searching (although in those 2 hours I did find the perfect bathroom drawers so some good came of it :) ).

Unfortunately Bokkie was off doing something else, but he let me use his bakkie to get the trelis - now that I'd found them I was not going to go another day without what I needed! So I got them home and set up the new enclosure and felt so much better about things. They now have a 4m * 4m run-around area (which is not so much smaller than Varen's 5m * 6m garden). They went from this ... to this.



On Saturday evening I went to one of my Poker buddies' birthday party at The Green Peppercorn. Although I think their cocktails are over-priced, they handled the huge table really well (we all had separate bills and there were no mistakes that I heard of!) and the food presentation was lovely (and it also tasted good).

On Sunday I was up early again. On my quest for trelis the day before, I'd also stopped by my favourite shop in Joburg, Derakera, and seen a gorgeous 4-poster bed. I'd seen one there in about November last year and debated buying it. I've always wanted one. But Varen and I weren't in need of a new bed so it seemed like a very unnecessary expense at the time. Now, of course, I'm in need of a bed (this sleeping on my mattress on the floor thing is getting old!). This bed was 2K cheaper than the one I'd seen in November and I had gone home and measured on Saturday afternoon. It will fit in my bedroom. Not with much room to spare, but it'll fit and the door and cupboards will still be able to open. So on Sunday morning I went back to look at it again ...

It was reserved. And I still loved it. And then had one more in their warehouse. I debated for a while, phoned Daddio and sent him a photo ... and then I bought it. It's being delivered on Wednesday (I'll admit I'm a little nervous!). The couch can wait, the pots and pans can wait and I can carry on using a beach towel after my shower for a while longer. I bought a gorgeous 4-poster bed instead :)

I did also finally get round to buying myself some cutlery too, so I balanced buying the bed with some practical shopping ;)

And then on Sunday afternoon, I had some friends around for a Hot-Dog Housewarming. Thanks so so much to Doodles & TSC, Ruby Letters, Arkwife, Arkhubby & Arkbaby, Jackson & his mom and Boldy Benny for coming and celebrating my new home and the start of what I feel will be a very good year with me. I had an absolutely awesome afternoon with all of you :) Let me just say, I was spoilt with housewarming gifts and good company!

An awesome weekend, for sure.

All Good

Well, what I thought was going to be a quieter week than last week has turned out to be just as busy :)

On Wednesday evening I headed over to Louisa's especially to watch my pal Cybersass kick some ass on the new Schleb Survivor. Okay, so it was only the first episode and as with all of these sorts of shows, I have barely figured out who is who yet (esp. since I had next to know idea who any of them were to start off with, let alone that they'd be considered South African Celebs!) But anyhoo, I was there showing support and shouting out her name every time Cybersass came on screen :)

> Follow Cybersass on Twitter:

Was also lovely to see Louisa and baby again. Gosh her little girl is adorable with the biggest mop of black hair I've ever seen. She looks like a little pixie :) Unfortunately she wasn't having the best of days ... but such is life with a teeny babe.

> Follow Louisa on Twitter:

And then last night, I was sitting around coaxing the bunnies out of the hutch (which they weren't very interested in since their "play-area" is soaked!) when CollegeInstructor popped round to invite me out for dinner with him and a mutual friend of ours (damn I will have to think up a nickname *soon*!).

We ended up at Capello's in Lonehill (wow i can't believe how much closer some places are now that I've moved, okay I know that probably just sounds stupid, but really, I would never have headed "all the way to" Lonehill for dinner before!).

Let me tell you, I am in love with their Watermelon and Chili Mojito's! So we ordered too much food and spent a lovely evening catching up (I haven't seen either of them since my farewell before I moved up to Joburg in 2004!). No doubt this will be the first of many more!

Are you there Vodka? It's me Chelsea by Chelsea Handler

Chelsea Handler is a woman on a mission. She's smart, sassy and not afraid to speak her mind. From an early age Chelsea knew exactly what she wanted and even in the trickiest of situations, she's never one to pass up an opportunity. Like the time she convinced her third-grade class she was shooting movies with Goldie Hawn on location in the Galapagos just to get them to like her, or when she spent the night in a women's prison, contemplating an affair with the inmate who killed her own sister. Chelsea it seems, has done it all, and a whole lot more...Any mishaps along the way just spur Chelsea on further. Whether she is being dry-humped by a sumo masseur, dumped by her Big Red experiment or kicked out of a London restaurant with her pants down, Chelsea is always armed with an unshakable disregard for rules and is incapable of leading a quiet life. Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea is an entertaining memoir-in-stories that will have you rolling around with laughter.

This book was very funny :) I'd definitely recommend it as a pick-me-up. Although it just sort of ends abruptly, I suppose each chapter is a little story in it's own right so how else could one end it?

> Follow Chelsea Handler on Twitter:

Swirling Thoughts

So, not that I want to harp on and on about the situation with Varen. I mean I really am over it and mostly absolutely okay with it but, like a normal person, it still has really only been a week and a half since I moved into my own home and out of the place I shared with him for 2 years, so there are still things swirling in my mind.

And at the same time as that, I'm going thru the very normal aspect of processing an ex's new relationship. And, as I'm sure is the same for all of you too, it doesn't matter how moved-on you think you are, it still somehow affects you. Even when I'd been dating Varen for about a year and found out about Bean's new partner, there were pangs of some residual something or other. So to be dealing with it so hot-on-the-heals of the break-up does compound all these swirling thoughts, rather.

The things I'm thinking:

1. Yesterday's private blog post is not going to be published.

2. I get angry with myself for feeling hurt and thinking about things with Varen. I mean when I was lying awake at 3am this morning because not only was there thunder, lightning and rain, but my washing machine was up and running, as much as I was trying to stop myself, I was re-hashing our relationship from October till January and hating myself for not spotting the signs and just being a stupid believer of every word he said. And now I'll always have doubt bout what was really going on because a) I'll never ask what really happened (partly because I just really don't want the truth, how would it change anything?) and b) cause I doubt he'd be honest either (you know when people try to hide stuff to "protect" you because they're directly doing something they know will hurt you - hello, surely just don't freaking do the hurtful thing? But I guess when it comes to emotions and relationships, sometimes you can't help yourself). And I know some of it is my fault, being wrapped up in our relationship-issues in my own mind trying to figure out if I should leave or what, instead of wondering what he was really up to and if he was being honest with me. And boys wonder why some of us have trust issues?!

3. I started to remember the things I liked about Varen ... which I guess is a good sign. But as soon as that happens, my brain clouds over with more of item 2 (above). I think I mostly miss his presence (which I was missing in the last year of our relationship too :P). And I miss that feeling of simply knowing you were loved, no matter what. Which, by the end of the relationship, I hadn't felt in quite some time, but I had felt, without doubt, in the beginning of our relationship, for the first time in my life from someone who wasn't family. I miss that.

On the other hand, I'm still very positive about life in general (I just occasionally have these sad reflective moments, usually when I'm alone in bed at night, who can blame kids for hating the dark? Life really is scarier then when your brain turns on you and starts to attack!). My fridge and washing machine arrived yesterday and I successfully installed my washing machine myself too (as anyone who was following twitter will know ;)). I think it was a big achievement, okay?

And I got to go out shopping to stock my new fridge. Which all sounds fun and awesome, except for the minor fact that I still have no cutlery to eat all this newly-purchased food with :P

I spent most of the evening chatting with CollegeInstructor who popped by. It's kinda cool having him so nearby actually :)

In other news, I mailed Varen last night to find out if he'd be interested in selling me the dining room table and chairs from his place (which are my favourite not-owned-by-me-item in the whole house!) and it turns out he might be ... since he's moving to America in July/August :P On one hand I'm happy a) that soon there'll be no chance of bumping into him & the new girlf in and around Joburg and b) because I think it'll be an amazing experience for him, even if it is with *her* :P And on the other hand, I'm supremely annoyed because he never did anything this cool while I was dating him. I have this awful feeling (although no proof, really) that I seem to date boys while they're setting themselves up for something greater and so I put up with all the struggling-to-get-there but get none of the benefit of actually getting there. Sigh. Oh well.

Change of Mind

So last night I wrote a blog post, and I'm still um-ing and ah-ing over posting it. I wasn't going to, but I've read over it this morning and it's not too terrible ... if only I knew for a fact Varen had indeed listened to me and has stopped reading my blog. But I don't. And the post I wrote is very much just my thoughts and opinions, which no doubt he'd take offence at. So for now it shall remain an unpublished draft (sometimes just having it written and no longer in your head is enough :) ). Blogger doesn't offer, so far as I know, the option to do a password protected post. And for the most part I'm against password protected posts generally. In my mind either you're putting stuff out there or you're not. And I have no idea what my criteria for handing out the password would be anyway ... to anyone but him? That seems a little ridiculous really.

So yesterday I tried out my new Curves for the first time. I don't really like it. The machines all seem to give less resistance and the venue is rubbish :( I wish I could justify driving 20mins just to get to gym, but really, I can't. So I'm stuck with it. Perhaps this will drive me back to Virgin Active :P

Went to SCM Dinner last night with @clairam and @pixitea. Finally got to meet @samanthaperry last night too (oddly we know plenty of people in common but had never actually met!).

And today (finger's crossed) HiFi Corp should be delivering my fridge and washing machine. Yippee Yay.

Fridge-Microwave-WashingMachine

Shoo, what a weekend.

I spent a very quiet Friday night home alone in my new place. It may sound sad to you, but generally my stay-home nights have been Mondays and Fridays. I enjoyed this one, I was completely relaxed and finished my book and watched some Californication.

It's that sense of peace that I can't really get over. I knew my life wouldn't change that much going from dating Varen to being single since he was barely ever home when I was, but there is a peace that comes from not waiting for someone to come home or wondering when they will get there (or what I should've been wondering: what they were actually doing at work till so late!).

Saturday was a bit of a mess, emotionally and practically. I'd tried to organise in advance the collection of the last of my things from Varen's house ... my only condition was that his new girlf not be around (not even hidden upstairs in the bedroom) while I was there. Seemed reasonable enough to me. From the many smses backwards and forwards on Saturday morning, the plan changed many times (and highlighted one of my least favourite things about Varen ... his inability to actually do what he says he's going to). From offering to help me move the stuff on Friday to asking me to change it to Sunday to saying he'd be there while I was there to saying he and the new girlf had gone out and left the key for me (and this was all before midday on Saturday! Sheesh)

So I started my day with moving my gym membership (so far I don't like the look of my new Curves, but there's no way I can be driving all the way to the old one just for a nicer gym-environment!) and then headed off to Bokkie's place (he had kindly agreed to help me move everything with his bakkie). We tried to get the rest of the bunny-fencing (two places had no stock of what I needed :P) and a hay-bale (also no stock!!) ... as you can imagine, I was not having a great morning.

But things did perk up when I collected the last of my stuff from Varen's house. He wasn't there and I do think that was better. I now never have to have anything to do with him again and he can continue his new life with his new girlf far far away from me :) I can't quite explain the relief at moving the last of my stuff and knowing there's no longer any reason to speak to him again.

Something else I realised was that I haven't once felt the pain I felt when I left Bean ... the pain of going thru a break-up and losing your home, your safe place in the world. I didn't lose my home, Varen's place clearly never felt like home ... or rather all the things that made it home for me have come with me. It's now an empty shell of it's former self. The fridge was empty, the curtains weren't open, there was no loo paper in any of the loo's, there were cigarette butts in the garden :P I realise now that although he owned the place, he never really "lived" there, it was a place to sleep when he wasn't at work and that is all. There are many many things I'm not missing!

After that, Bokkie and I did some price comparisons and I swiped my card and bought my new Fridge, Microwave and Washing Machine (mine was cheaper than the site lists) ... all for about R6500 from HiFi Corporation, which I didn't think was too bad at all :) My new Microwave has successfully been installed (plugged in) and the other two are arriving tomorrow. I can not wait!

I ended the day at Cool Runnings in 4ways for @pixitea's birthday. It was a marathon day but I really felt a sense of achievement at the end of it. On Sunday I went and did some more house-shopping, am buying a few of the basics here and there and scouted out the couch I have my eye on :) Mostly tho I just took a lot of measurements and bought myself some crockery - pretty useless right now since I still have no cutlery ;)

And then it was off to Shul in Pretoria for my very first Orthodox Jewish Engagement Party :) Jees but there were millions of people and masses of food!

Oh yes, Sunday was also a year since I got Little Lily :) And it was Varen's birthday. Wow, how much has changed in just the last year? His folks are no longer together, he & I are no longer together (and both him & his folks have all found replacement relationships already ... the new girlf got to meet the fandamily yesterday at his birthday lunch. From my perspective, his life doesn't seem to have changed much, he just seems to be doing all the same things with a different person) and BrotherSwoop and his girlf broke up too. It's funny looking at a photo we took on his birthday last year when I made a massive champagne breakfast for his whole family.

Me tho, I have that tingly feeling telling me 2010 is going to be a good year, a fun year and definitely a better year than last year was.

Smiling

So yesterday it was a week since I paid my deposit and in that time I've moved in and even settled a little into my new home. I've reached a happy place of positivity about the year and feel like every day gets a little bit better :)

I had the bookclub girls round last night, first real entertaining I've done there although I've had one or two people over to visit and see the place before then. We sat around on the floor and ate pizza and drank wine out of my brand new wine glasses (thanks J9!). It was lovely. I guess it's also just nice having the people you're surrounded by be equally happy and excited for you :)

I also had a most surprising visitor yesterday ... one of my College Instructors from Cape Town! I was sitting reading my book in my bedroom (trying to get finished before bookclub! Haha) when I heard a knock. And I was floored when he was the person peeking at me thru the security gate! I was like "How did you find me?". I mean I had only found out about a week and a half ago that he was even in Joburg (via a mutual friend who's also living up here now) and hadn't even spoken to him since then. Funny story! He rents one of the rooms in the main house! He hasn't been staying there cause he's house-sitting for our mutual friend, but was back to get some laundry done and recognised my rabbits (how mad is that?). So yeah, totally surreal, and pretty cool :)

Yesterday was also a week since I found out about Varen and his new love-interest. I'm mostly over the whole thing, except for the fear and nerves I feel about contacting him later today to go and collect the rest of my stuff from his house. He's still acting surprised that I removed him from Blackberry Messenger and GoogleTalk ... but really, what on earth would I still have to talk to him about? He's not interested in how the bunnies are doing and I don't want to hear about how his new relationship is doing ... and I don't want his little photo avatar sitting there staring at me, invading my space.

Other than that, @jarredcinman came to visit on Wednesday and Beuks also came round (to check out my spare room) and we went had had a lovely sushi-dinner.

It's been a really good week. Now to just get thru this manic weekend (I have so much that needs to get done! Like finishing the rabbit enclosure, collecting the last of my stuff from Varen's place (only really the fish pond) and buying huge kitchen appliances. I also need to get Telkom round asap, but for some reason that whole process freaks me out ... Anyway, it's Friday and I'm in a very good mood :)

Compulsion by Jonathan Kellerman

Once again, the depths of the criminal mind and the darkest side of a glittering city fuel #1 New York Times bestselling author Jonathan Kellerman's brilliant storytelling. And no one conducts a more harrowing and suspenseful manhunt than the modern Sherlock Holmes of the psyche, Dr. Alex Delaware. A tipsy young woman seeking aid on a desolate highway disappears into the inky black night. A retired schoolteacher is stabbed to death in broad daylight. Two women are butchered after closing time in a small-town beauty parlor. These and other bizarre acts of cruelty and psychopathology are linked only by the killer's use of luxury vehicles and a baffling lack of motive. The ultimate whodunits, these crimes demand the attention of LAPD detective Milo Sturgis and his collaborator on the crime beat, psychologist Alex Delaware. What begins with a solitary bloodstain in a stolen sedan quickly spirals outward in odd and unexpected directions, leading Delaware and Sturgis from the well-heeled center of L.A. society to its desperate edges; across the paths of commodities brokers and transvestite hookers; and as far away as New York City, where the search thaws out a long-cold case and exposes a grotesque homicidal crusade. The killer proves to be a fleeting shape-shifter, defying identification, leaving behind dazed witnesses and death-and compelling Alex and Milo to confront the true face of murderous madness.

This wasn't quite on the level of the twisty Jonathan Kellerman books I remember from my youth. Still it was a decent enough crime-read, but it wouldn't go to the top of my list by any means.

Onward and Upward

So, other than today being Daddio's birthday (Happy happy!), it's also one month since Varen and I broke up. And as you've probably read, plenty has happened in that single month.

Yesterday I found out that him and the new (see, no longer "future") girlfriend have decided to give their relationship a try ... in his own words, he thinks he can be happy with her.

I'm okay, but believe me, there have been plenty of sentences I've already removed from this post ...no need in re-hashing the unnecessary, right. No need to write all of his transgressions out here. I really actually don't want it all written here as a reminder because in a year (no doubt probably even less actually) they'll mean nothing to me. But for now they still hurt. Although he's still offering the worthless platitude of "I'm sorry if I hurt you".

I'm not hurt because he's moving on, I'm hurt because it preys on the tenuous trust I had left ... every new little piece of information casts doubt on what happened. And I guess I'm more prone to thinking this way because it's happened before, with The Lying Pilot. Luckily I learnt then that it's not worth looking back and questioning everything ... you make the decision to trust someone and you put that into their hands. If they choose to lie to you, while you are trusting them, it's not on your head, it's on theirs.

I also hate that I am hungry for the very information that hurts me ... I don't know why. I need to force myself to make a clean break. I know it'll be easier now, knowing that this new relationship of his is on. I've already removed him from my Google Talk and Blackberry Messenger.

I'm also seeing things from a very peculiar perspective tho ... Karma is a bitch. While I didn't physically cheat on Bean (and I choose to believe Varen didn't physically cheat on me), there's very definitely an emotional version of cheating (which I denied to make myself feel better last time around), which hurts just as much, when you're on the receiving end. I guess I can just be grateful that I was ready for the end of our relationship as much as he was ... I don't know if Bean had that luxury (although we did break up and get back together before we broke up the final time).

And although I envy Varen the things he's enjoying at the moment, you know that new burst of interest in someone, the watching your phone in case they smsed, the comfort of knowing that there's someone out there who likes you and wants to hold you and is thinking about you too, I don't have space in myself for those things right now. And somehow I think I'd rather be on my path than his. He's already chosen someone new ... I get to go out and explore :)

And I have an amazing circle of friends ... things are so much better than they were when I broke up with Bean and lost the majority of my friends because they were all his friends girlfriend's. This time round, I'm spoilt for choice and am already keeping myself quite busy :) (Thanks again @clairam for Monday night's SCM Dinner. It was just what I needed!)

I also have a new home and some serious retail therapy coming up :) Here are all the things I need (and some that I just really want):

1. Fridge
2. Microwave
3. Washing Machine
4. Crockery
5. Cutlery
6. Pots & Pans
7. Couch
8. Bed (I have a mattress already... I saw a truly divine 4-poster at Dera-Kera months ago and am pining after it ... but it was so expensive!)
9. Chest of drawers for my bedroom
10. Small chest of drawers & shelves for the bathroom (white)
11. One of those desk-shelf things from Mr Price Home
12. Curtains wouldn't go amiss but are not a requirement (have office blinds at the moment :P)
(And so many other small mundane-but-required items!)

After years and years of living with boyfriends in their houses (ie. being the one to leave after the break-up), I will be buying for myself, things will be mine and stay mine ... instead of things being bought communally over time and I end up going without because you never remember when it's time to leave and usually it's easier just to leave it all behind! See, there's some excitement (and major expense) coming up.

Here's to being positive and going head-held-high into the unknown future (although I would love some sort of assurance that the right man is out there and it does all come together for me ...). Last night I had my first evening home alone, and it was quite liberating. I went and shopped for Bookclub books (am not super impressed with the Exclusive Books at the new Morningside Center, but oh well) and got some Ghazal's take-out and then went home and watched series. Not unlike any night I might've spent while dating Varen while waiting for him to come home from work ... but this night was mine alone. The relief and weight that the break-up lifted are finally showing thru, like rays of sun behind the thunder clouds :)

The Medici Secret by Michael White

In the crypt of the Medici Chapel in Florence, palaeopathologist, Edie Granger, and her uncle, Carlin Mackenzie, are examining the mummified remains of one of the most powerful families in Renaissance Italy. The embalmers have done their work well in terms of outward appearance. But under the crisp skin, the organs have shrivelled to a fraction of their original size, which means it is difficult to gather a usable DNA sample.Edie and Mackenzie both have serious doubts about the true identity of at least two of the five-hundred-year-old bodies. And no one can explain the presence of an alien object discovered resting against Cosimo de Medici's spine. For Carlin Mackenzie, this is the most fascinating and the most dangerous discovery of his life. For Edie, it is the beginning of an obsessive, life-threatening quest. With all the dramatic twists and turns that made Equinox such a huge international success, The Medici Secret meshes past and present, cryptic clues and constant menace to produce a mystery thriller that does not relax its grip for one single moment.

I read half this book before I went to Cape Town and the other half after ... so a bit disjointed. It was a fine enough book, pretty much standard post-Da Vinci Code fair ... I will say that I didn't especially enjoy the jumping around in time etc. to explain the story. But anyway, definitely a light-entertainment holiday read.

Moved but Not Un-Packed

A quick morning post, since I have no internet at home currently ...

What a surreal weekend. Things were continuously up and down between Varen and I but we ended the weekend still as friends.

It has been a really weird experience, with him already preparing for his next relationship. Mostly I am okay with it because one of the oddest things I noticed this weekend when I was sitting thinking, "Oh My Word, how could someone have changed this quickly in less than a month" (yes, it's still less than a month since we actually broke up!) and it dawned on me, he actually hadn't. He was back to being the person I'd originally started dating, only his attention wasn't focused on me this time ... odd thing about perspective, huh?

But he was a dutiful ex and roped in the use of his dad's bakkie and BrotherZion to help me move on Saturday & Sunday. Was a bit of chaos because I thought the decision was to move in on Saturday but it turned out the carpets were being cleaned so I couldn't even get into the place ... luckily the kitchen has an outside door so we just piled all the stuff into there and locked it. Also the cupboard guy couldn't come until Sunday either. So we just moved the outside stuff on Saturday (all my plants ... this is why I plant into pots when I don't own the place!) and went shopping in preparation for the new bunnies hutch set-up: 200 bricks from Builder's Warehouse (to raise them up from ground level so they don't get flooded in the rain), 3 out of the 6 fencing panels (Lifestyle Garden Center didn't have enough, will have to go back this weekend again ... although how I'll get the 2m panels back in my little car, I'm not so sure!), 2 tarps (one for the inside as per usual and one for the outside for extra rain protection since they're no longer completely under cover), 2 yoga mats (ended up only needing one for under the hutch so they're not walking directly on tarp-covered bricks ... Rex has sensitive feet, ya know?) and 1 piece of shade cloth (because they're more in the sun now than they were at Varen's). Sheesh. Expensive business this, but I'd feel awful not doing any of it for them. Sweet things.

Shame, they were not very happy during the move, Lily especially. And now they're getting used to all these new smells and noises. They're a bit freaked out. It's very overcast today, but I put the shade-cloth down (it should also protect them from the rain, if it does start) but I'll go back and check them at lunch too. (Did I mention that it took me 2.5 minutes to get to work this morning? I timed it! Definitely worth every penny of rent, just for that!)

Am not sure anymore if Varen's next relationship is on or off at the moment, I guess he'll be finding out this week when the new girl is back at work (her ex-fiance moved out this weekend too, it couldn't all be more convenient if it tried!). It's so surreal because I'm honestly actually fine with it ... I can just see the pattern repeating, so it's hard to be too annoyed, since really, I should have known! So much is so similar with the way our relationship started, although as people she and I may be completely different (apparently). It is also very peculiar sitting watching dvds with your ex-boyf on a Saturday night while he's smsing his potential new girlfriend. That's the bit I don't like. Because I remember that "high" feeling of checking your phone constantly to see if they'd smsed you or whatever. It's hard to watch that happening with him about someone else.

Oh yes, we watched Bride Wars and How to Lose Friends and Alienate People.

Both were pretty meh. Normally I really like Kate Hudson, but not in Bride Wars.

I did really like Kirsten Dunst in How to Lose Friends tho :) Either way, that was just what we needed to get thru Saturday evening.

On Sunday we moved all the indoor stuff and the cupboard people were there the *entire* day ... and they'll be back again today because they didn't even start the cupboards in the 2nd bedroom! Annoying. But I've left about everything still packed up in the kitchen for now. And haven't even thought about unpacking till everyone is done in there! Cause the ADT guys should be coming to split the alarm today too (finger's crossed!) (yes folks, I have an alarm system now too!)

Do you wanna hear the *weirdest* thing? I'm convinced that I went to look at an inside room in this house when I moved out of Bean's place (before I moved in with Loulou, 3 & half years ago)! I've had a weird dejavu since Saturday, and on Sunday evening my land-lady invited me to have dinner with her & her son and explain that she actually rented the entire property from the owners (who live next door) and she rents out rooms and the garden cottage. And in turn I can rent out the spare room in the cottage. Is all very amusing to me :) But anyway. Yeah, how weird is that? I didn't take it then because it seemed to weird to live inside the house with a "family" (if that makes sense?) and because I was workingi n Joburg CBD. But now the proximity to work is ideal and I'm in the garden cottage ... funny how life works out!

Life Carries On

So I have been promising an emotional post for a while now ... but after last night I have a feeling it won't be coming with quite the content I was expecting.

First I was going to write out all the reasons from my side why the break-up happened, explaining for your benefit and my own therapy. I'm not entirely sure of all the reasons on Varen's side, I guess when we realised it was something we'd both pretty much decided needed to happen and the other was completely in-sync with the decision, we didn't question the other person's reasons.

And then I was going to write one about the very emotional time it's been living together (for less than a week!) after getting back from Cape Town, but that all faded into irrelevance last night.

I knew something was up with him, he came home in a foul mood on Monday evening and wouldn't speak to me at all. I was quite upset because Sunday had made it seem like things could be okay and in my mind although we still had chemistry and physical attraction, the mental attraction was gone. And although that's a hard and still very sad situation to be in, I thought it'd be enough to get us thru the month of living together while I found a new home. I naively thought we were in a place where we knew wouldn't get back together but could appreciate some of the good that we'd had during our relationship as sort of a goodbye-mourning period.

Last night there was one of those "I have to take this" calls where he jumped up and locked himself in the spare room to talk. He was soo werid about it, I admit, I went and listened outside the door. Turns out I'm not so irreplaceable as I'd like to think. He's already mentally tied himself up in another messy situation with a girl he works with (again! We were working together when we met).

I was pretty devastated and am thrilled to bits that I'm moving out on Saturday although, terrified that any second thoughts I had late last night (mostly to do with the bunnies new set-up) will need to be ignored or made-to-work, because I can not possible live with him a second longer.

And then after being terribly upset for a while, I forgave him, and told him so. I realised that everyone deals with things in their own way and I knew he was a serial long-term-dater when I met him (the only reason he had such a long gap between me and his previous ex was because I was still with Bean). And for me, I'm moving on and have a fresh start ahead of me. I needed this break-up for my own reasons and although I'd love him to pine and be upset over it, that's not his way and now he's choosing, in some ways, an even more difficult path for himself and taking on more emotionally than I think (which of course no longer really counts for much there) than he should right now ... but he seems unable to stop himself.

Emotionally it hurts like hell, right now it still feels a little too much like The LyingPilot who moved his now-wife-of-4-years into our place a mere 3 weeks (or less?) after I moved out.

So I haven't slept at all, between being unable to switch my head off and the thunder and lightening and the worry that the bunny hutch actually won't fit in it's new home and that it'll get flooded in rain-storms like last night ... I think I might've got about 2 & half 3 hours in there somewhere.

So I'm not looking forward to today, it was hard enough to concentrate on work when I was excited about the prospect of the future, now with no sleep and panic about how to solve all these possible problems (will be going over there with my measuring tape a little later!) I have no idea how I'll get thru today.

I'm Moving!

So, I was going to eventually get round to the emotional post, but that's been put on hold for even longer because today was such a pivotal day.

So as you (should) know, with Varen & I broken-up but still living together, I've been on the hunt for a new home for me and the bunnies. I dabbled briefly online before I went to Cape Town, but since I was solidly busy before then and there would've been no time to actually go and see a place, I wasn't looking too seriously, just getting a feel for the market and rental prices.

I came back from Cape Town less than a week ago and knew I had to get stuck in, the most terrifying thought was not finding somewhere to move to by the 1st Feb. But such huge change makes me want to hide ... it's a scary thing leaving your home of 2 years, and I couldn't decide if I should live alone or with someone (both have their pros and cons for me right now). So to be fair I wasn't doing much more than browsing the web as I'd done in December. Moving out would make everything so real and final.

But on Tuesday I made a call to a guy who's number I got thru a friend of a friend ... but I could tell over the phone that it was far from what I was looking for. And let's be honest I have some serious requirements: Must have a private garden for the bunnies. At minimum one bedroom (I hate the idea of a "studio" apartment!) but if possible 2 (I have a lot of stuff, okay ... like dive gear, where does that go when there's no spare room??). At least one bathroom, preferably with a bath and shower but at minimum a shower. And then came my "where" requirements. I'm a big believer in living "inside the highway circle" (laugh all you like, Louisa ;) ). To me it makes sense from a traffic perspective. Ideally I was looking closer to work, but no further away than where I am now. And on what people were telling me was a very short budget (I don't think it is, but looking at some of the ridiculous "in the right area" rental prices who knows!).

So yesterday I was doing my daily gumtree browse (instead of writing a blog post ;) ) and I spotted a potential place and made a phone call and even an appointment to view it today.

So off I went during lunch. This place is so close to work (not quite walking distance but not much further, really!). It's a garden cottage and although the advert said "no pets" the landlady was okay with me keeping the bunnies. I was all ready to just get the first "viewing" out of the way. You know, you gotta start somewhere before you get into the rythym of it. I was fully prepared to just write it off as the first place I saw. To tell the truth I was hoping I'd end up in a nice garden unit in a complex and be in pretty much the same sort of set-up I'm in now. But obviously I was looking at garden cottages as well.

I didn't go there expecting to rent the first place I saw, and it's not 100% what I had in mind (you know, one of those new and mod places, I'm a bit of a snob really), but it really looks like it could work for me for right now :) It has just been repainted inside, comes with the use of a garage and has 2 small bedrooms and a large lounge area. It doesn't have a bath unfortunately :( The kitchen is smaller than the one here and not open plan or anything, but has an outdoor area for hanging washing (which we don't have here!) and rubbish bins. And the garden is *huge*. I'll be able to fence off an area for the bunnies to run in and their hutch can go under the awning of the roof (I may have to figure out some more protection for them, but they already have the boxes to hide in). On the downside it used to be an home-office space so has office-blinds thruout :P (I figure that's something I can address once I'm settled) But the plus side of it previously being home-office space that is that there is already a Telkom line for internet - how could I live without internet now that all my blogging happens after work?! The other plus is that she works from home so there will be people at the house during the day, which is obviously much better for security. Did I mention how close to work it is?

It came in right at the maximum I wanted to pay and I guess I could even rent out the spare room if I wanted to (but I'll see where all that dive-gear ends up first, haha!). The only worry I have is the bunnies, and shade, and keeping an eye on them (here I can sit at my computer and watch them run in the garden ... will have to see what works there). I'm actually thinking of getting them used to leads (yes people do that!) so that I could take them walking round the rest of the back garden area (seriously, it's like the size of a football field and the only reason I wouldn't give them full run of the area is I'd worry I wouldn't find them again under the plants that are around the edges at the wall) because then they could enjoy some real tree-shade :) Although with these cloudy late afternoons, it may not be a problem - haha!

I can't wait to have people over for picnics on this vast grassland :) (there's plenty of parking cause of her working from home!)

So I spoke to my Mom and Daddio, @jarredcinman and a few other work friends and decided to take the plunge and paid the deposit this afternoon. Yes, I could wait around for something that might seem more suitable ... but the other big bonus of this is it's a month-to-month rental. So if it doesn't work out, I can look for something else from a less emotional situation :) But I have a good feeling about this place, and that's what really counts. Even tho I'm nervous since I haven't been to see anywhere else at all.

Oh, and I'm moving in on *Saturday*. I know, that was a bit of a surprise to me too. But it's available immediately (she's having cupboards put into the bedrooms this weekend, she was waiting in case someone rather wanted to use it as office space) and hell, I had no plans for the weekend anyway :)

I'm feeling excited and terrified ... best I get packing!

The Naughties: 2000 - 2009

So, I have never really been one for reflection posts on my blog (I usually forget my blogger-versary altogether actually!) but the end of 2009 brought with it the close of the first decade of this still-new century and almost the close of my twenties (okay, I have just under 4 months left but really, who's counting?) So I figured I'd look back at a few milestones.

I lived in six different houses and two different provinces (Gauteng and Western Cape). One with my folks, obviously. One with The Lying Pilot for mere months (two or three, I forget now), a big step and the first living-with-a-boyfriend situation. One with 3 or 4 other people when I first moved to Joburg (I only met one of the girls once or twice hence the "or 4" bit cause she was *never* there!). One with Bean. One with Loulou. One with Varen.

And as you can see from above, I dated plenty of boys. One ActorWriterDirector for sixteen months (wonder what he's doing now?). One Lying Pilot for a year (don't especially care what he's doing now). One Bean for two and a half years (I have a pretty good idea of what he's doing now). One Varen for two and a half years (hell, I'm still living with him!). That makes four of the six boys I've dated for over a year in my life have been in the last decade (not surprising since it was my twenties, really). Not to worry tho, I kissed plenty more ;)

I've got stamps from 20 different countries in my (2) passports. Namibia, Botswana, Zimbabwe, Zambia, Malawi, Mozambique (more than once), Swaziland, Lesotho, Singapore, Thailand, Egypt, Kenya, Uganda, Democratic Republic of Congo, United Kingdom, Spain (but sadly no stamp from Portugal :( ), Morocco, Tanzania, Canada and obviously, South Africa.

I've owned plenty of pets. Pickle & Fizbin, the beautiful Border Collies who live with my folks, along with the 3 tortoises. And my 5 cute bunnies: Bell, Henna (both of which died in Jan09), Coal (who turned out to be a girl!), Lily and Rex. As well as umpteen fish!

I've worked at nine companies (my entire career to date). One for three and a half months that closed when the entire staff (only actually my friend & I) resigned. One that I left to go back to study after three and a half months. (I had a great start to my career, you can see!) One that I worked at part time for thirteen months while I studied. One for nineteen months. One for eleven months (my first in Joburg) which liquidated in the month after I left! One for three months short of three years. And my current one. I also contracted briefly for two other companies.

I've driven three cars. One, my first, a white Jetta that I inherited from Mom ... Oh and what a crash that ended in. One little maroon Citi Golf that Daddio bought me to replace the first, that car moved to Joburg with me! One I bought on my own two years ago.

I made fifteen major purchases. One apartment with Bean (which was thankfully sold!). One car two years ago. *Seven* overseas holidays. One set of Indian Elephant Stairs (which are sadly still stuck in Cape Town ... I miss them). Actually plenty of furniture purchases ... One Hippo Table, one Mexican Chimenea, one ottoman, one set of gorgeous shelves (how will I fit into a new place?!) Okay so the furniture stuff may not seem so "major", but I've said before, I tend to spend my money on two things: Holidays and Furniture (not the practical kind tho?!?), so I thought it best to highlight it here (obviously I have bought other items, but these are the biggest and my favourites). One *giant* Rabbit Hutch. (there are probably more I've forgotten now tho ...)
I started 2 blogs and registered my domain name :) I was a finalist for 4 blog awards and *won* an International one.

And I guess it wouldn't be complete without a look back at important people in my life (or in my family) who've died in the last 10 years and have had an impact on me. My gran (Daddio's Mom) succumbed after years and years of Cancer. Daddio's youngest brother had a surprise heart-attack (he wasn't even 50 yet!). Gumdrop (Mom's Dad) from old-age and Alzheimers. Neen had complications post-childbirth from a weird thing called HELPP syndrome.

And then there were some very upsetting not-so-people who died too ... Bell, Henna and Fizbin.

I'm not going to do the "borns" from the last decade, they're pretty boring because about a million billion people around me are having babies these days (I'm at *that* age!) and it's just sort of depressing right now (but congrats to all of you, of course!).

I lost friends and I made friends, too many of both in the last decade to bother trying to count them all. Thanks to all of you who're still around tho :)

Okay, I can't think of anything else to add to this, but I guess it sort of sums up the important things in life anyway.

Sometime between then and now

So here we are, 2010. And to be honest, that blog-title sums up exactly how I'm feeling at the start of this year. And how I expect to be feeling for most of January, but that's a whole nother post (one that is coming, I promise ... it's odd to have so many blog posts stored up in my head and then to lie awake in bed last night wondering if I should bother continuing to blog at all actually ... as you can see, I'm all a jumble).

So, what have I been up to? Obviously I was in Cape Town and I spent a large portion of that time doing next to nothing at our Beach Cottage. Let me remind you (because I'm sure I've said it before), it's a blissful place, past Simon's Town with no electricity or drinkable tap-water ... you even have to push a pump 20 times before you can flush the loo! I love it there ...



I also got a gorgeous shot of the sky across False Bay just after sunrise one morning :)



But I did get up to plenty of other stuff (although let me remind you that Cape Town for a holiday is not the same for me as it is for others ... it's a going home, not a mad dash to every tourist destination. So the things I did were probably much the same as I would've had I stayed in Joburg ... but obviously there was the big "Family" draw-card).

I ate out.
There are so many Cape Town restaurants I miss (5ive Flies, Cape to Cuba, Fat Cactus to name a few off the top of my head), but I didn't go to any of them this holiday.

First I met up with The Divine Miss M for sushi at Beluga. We made it there before 7 and had a decadent meal of half-price sushi and half-price cocktails to wash it all down. Definitely the smart way to eat ;) The service was sub-standard, but the place was packed and we weren't really in much of a hurry. Afterwards we went for a jug of sangria at Cafe Sofia.

Let me just warn you that Beluga has the hugest menu you'll ever see, not because of variety, but because they've bound it in recipe book format that you can actually buy. A novel idea really, but quite cumbersome!

Mom and I went to The Italian Kitchen for lunch one afternoon. It's in a most peculiar spot (on Tokai Road, opposite Blue Route), but seems a nice enough little place. And the food was yummy :) Mom had a pizza and I had a pasta.

I also met up with Jam at a Cafeen in Harfield Village for a catch-up lunch. While most of this lunch was about the talking, the food was yummy too, I had a very nice sandwich :) And a refreshing Iced Coffee.

The grand-girls (me, The Peeb and our 2 girl-cousins) decided to go for a girls-only dinner out (it's nice now that the cousins are getting old enough for this, there's a 15yr age gap between me & the youngest!) but we tried to do it on the evening of the 1st Jan. Nothing was open. We braved a sand storm to go to Dunes, only to be told their kitchen was closed. So we ended up at Pirates in Hout Bay.

It turned out to be such a fun evening, it was the first time we've done something like this, but I think it'll become a new tradition! We all had yummy burgers, but the service was pretty shocking. They had very few staff working. But we were happy to chat away the time :) Afterwards we ended up staying at their place till quite late, watching old slides. It was a great night!

For my last night in Cape Town, we went out for a family dinner, just the 4 of us, Mom, Daddio, The Peeb and me, to Willoughby's. Wowee, now this was some delish sushi! The Peeb, Mom and I ordered a whole bunch to share and ate ourselves silly! I can highly recommend their Rock Shrimp Tempura :) Heaven.

Afterwards we went to Sinns for desert. Mom and I shared their Decadent Dessert “Medley”, which was a perfect end to the evening :) (My fave was their Raspberry Sorbet, Creme Brulee and Milk Chocolate Mousse)

 I watched movies.
Dad has amassed quite a collection of dvds so I watched a few on the night I was home with nothing to do (bad planning on my part and more of the hibernation holiday spirit :) ).

I watched Seven Pounds and Mamma Mia! Okay, odd choices, I know, but neither of them were big-screen movies for me ... which leaves dvd ... I usually leave the movies I think are potentially rubbish for dvd. And I was right on both counts.

I can see what they were trying to do with this movie, and I do like Will Smith, but I just think they missed the mark. It was supposed to be an interesting twist at the end, but it was glaringly obvious from early on. And it was sloooow. I will say that I did very much like the manner in which he ended things and have *always* wanted a jelly-fish aquarium. So that was by far my fave part of the whole thing.

Eurgh. It had to be done, I'm not making any apologies for it and at one (brief and fleeting) point in there, I did momentarily agree with Mark Kermode's opinion that it was so bad it was good ... but then I realised the error of my ways and relaised that no, it was just bad. Although I'd recommend just watching it for the hilarity that is Pierce Brosnan's singing!!

I will say that I was impressed with Meryl Streep and that is about the only bit of the movie I enjoyed.

And then last night when I was back in Joburg, Varen and I went to watch the new Sherlock Holmes (was going to try go with Mom, but we didn't have time).

Aw, Robert Downey Jr. He was brilliant. I can't wait for Iron Man 2 :) Jude Law isn't a personal fave of mine, but he was okay. And then generally the movie was okay ... I didn't think it was spectacular or earth-shattering and I think the thing that highlighted that for me was that I wasn't too concerned about missing something when I made a dash to the loo. It was a bit wishy-washy, I thought. But otherwise, I still quite liked it.

 I read books.
As is now tradition, I caught up on Daddio's vast collection of Eve Dallas novels by J.D. Robb. This time I only got thru 5 of them tho.

Crime and punishment is Lieutenant Eve Dallas's business. Murder her speciality...Named by the social worker who found her when she was a mere child roaming that city's streets, Eve Dallas is a New York police detective who lives for her job. In over ten years on the force, she's seen it all - and knows her survival depends on her instincts.

(oops, seems I skipped Holiday in Death!)

09. Loyalty in Death
10. Witness in Death
11. Judgement in Death
12. Betrayal in Death
13. Seduction in Death

* This book is part of the In Death series: Naked in Death (1995), Glory in Death (1995), Immortal in Death (1996), Rapture in Death (1996), Ceremony in Death (1997), Vengeance in Death (1997), Holiday in Death (1998), ~Midnight in Death (1998), Conspiracy in Death (1999), Loyalty in Death (1999), Witness in Death (2000), Judgment in Death (2000), Betrayal in Death (2001), ~Interlude in Death (2001), Seduction in Death (2001), Reunion in Death (2002), Purity in Death (2002), Portrait in Death (2003), Imitation in Death (2003), Divided in Death (2004), Visions in Death (2004), Survivor in Death (2005), Origin in Death (2005), Memory in Death (2006), ~Haunted in Death (2006), Born in Death (2006), Innocent in Death (2007), Creation in Death (2007), ~Eternity in Death (2007), Strangers in Death (2008), Salvation in Death (2008), ~Ritual in Death (2008), Promises in Death (2009), Kindred in Death (2009), ~Missing in Death (2009) ~ included in Anthologies

I caught-up with friends & family.
So I managed to see a few friends this holiday. The Bunny Farmer and her daughter came down to the beach cottage for lunch one day. Was fab to be able to catch-up with her in person. And weird to think the last time she'd been with us at the cottage was back in high school in 1994!

I had dinner with The Divine Miss M. It was especially nice to see her since we have only had very erratic contact for the last year or two and there was loads of catching-up to do. I think our friendship is on the road to recovery :)

I saw Jam, which I always make an effort to do while in Cape Town. She really is my longest friend (since Sub A, or Grade 1) and although it's a little weird with her still being in Bean's group of friends (since she's still dating his friend that we set her up with years ago!), it's still always lovely to see her.

I also spent quite a lot of time with my gran, and made a special effort to visit my 2nd cousin Neen's 9-month old son and got to catch-up with her folks & sister. And of course, our grand-girls dinner out was a highlight :)

I also spent plenty of time with The Peeb's new kitten, Panda. What a darling-but-crazy little guy he is ... and boy did he enjoy his week at the cottage :) (Aside from the occasional Baboon, although he barely batted an eyelid at them!) 

I swam in the sea (twice).
Enough said :) 

I did do one or two touristy things.
First I made the fateful mistake of thinking I'd take a drive to Kalk Bay and wander thru those cute little shops. It turned out to be a 2 hour drive from Lakeside to Kalk Bay and by the time I got there I just hopped on Boyes Drive and headed home without stoppping. The drive along the ocean was lovely tho. I find it most strange that driving in Cape Town is almost relaxing for me yet driving in Joburg is a requirement to arrive at my destination!

Daddio took me yachting on Table Bay with some of his work-folk (yes, their company owns a yacht!). Let me tell you, yachting is not as glamorous as it sounds, by far! It's helluva windy (I spent the entire journey bundled up in my jersey!) and you spend all your time tacking and rigging and whatever other yachting terms there are. There's none of this swanning around in a bikini sipping colourful drinks. Well, maybe on the bigger yachts, moored in calmer bays, but not on this day! We went out to Robben Island (about as close as I've ever been) and then round to the Seli 1 Wreck. I'll say that Bay is way bigger than it looks when you're driving along the mountain!

I also dragged Daddio and The Peeb to The World of Birds on my last day in Cape Town - I was more keen to hit the aquarium, but The World of Birds was the only way to get Daddio to agree to come along (he hearts birds) :) Which was actually fine by me because I couldn't tell you the last time I actually was there ... probably junior school?

Got some great photos tho :) The owls all posed so perfectly!

 
I went shopping.
I finally purchased a pair of Alice Suede Crocs for myself. Although I bought a pair of the original Crocs (before they were even really in SA ... I got mine in Singapore on my Thailand holiday), I hardly ever wear them - although I do recommend them as great holiday (where you're doing plenty of walking) shoes. But these Alice Suede ones I've had my eye on for ages, but haven't really been able to justify the price tag ... and they were on sale, at Cape Union Mart :) Love 'em!

There you go, the practical stuff is (finally) out the way ... I promise a more emotionally-minded blog post will follow shortly :)