Friday, September 19, 2014

Worst Work Week.

Shattered. This has been my worst week in a while. All work reasons ... I don't have a moment to think, I barely have time to eat. I literally have been getting home frazzled. I don't think this is pregnancy related, but I'm sure it isn't helping.

I managed to get to the gym for a swim twice this week so far. Which was fantastic, in this heat, so refreshing. Other than that I have literally not done a thing. We've eaten at home. Read our books and gone to bed. I have never need a weekend so badly ... and all I'm hoping this morning is that I don't actually end up having to work this weekend *sob*.

In other news, Peps is going to get spayed today. I'll collect her after work. Poor puppy :(

Thursday, September 18, 2014

13 September: 9 weeks, 1 day

So it's kinda weird now that the "secret" is out. Lots of lovely congratulations from online peeps :) But it's also been quite a strange thing to experience, the whole telling people thing. As I said previously, we weren't specifically NOT telling people, but we sorta just told them as it came up (oh, you're not drinking alcohol?) or was relevant (erm, you've scheduled me on work well into what will be my maternity leave). We told people as we saw / spoke with them and I have found the reactions very entertaining.

I guess because I'm a first time mom, I can relate so much more with the people who don't yet have kids. They're like "Oh congrats, how exciting for you" (or sometimes a little more enthusiastic because they know we were trying and did this on purpose and have wanted it for a while). But then the conversation moves on to the things you always talked about with them ... That's pretty much also how I react when people tell me they're pregnant. Previously my happiness for them was also tinged, internally, with a little damper of "when will it be my turn?" but mostly just thrilled for someone who's life is turning out the way they wanted and good luck to them :)

I've never been the girl queuing to hold someone else's baby. Make no mistake, I have wanted my own kids my ENTIRE life. It has never even been a question for me. But other people's kids don't really interest me beyond "oh she's so cute" or whatever. You know, probably the very normal non-mom sort of reaction?

But the already-moms. Wow, they squeal and clap and jump up and down. It's like I've just got membership at some club and they are thrilled to have a new member (victim? I dunno?). Perhaps this will be me in future?

Right now tho, I find it very strange to see the difference :) And then there are the advice-givers who (surprisingly) fall into both the non-mom and already-mom groups. I find this so strange. Probably because no one has given me any advice yet where I've felt "Damn, I did not know this. This changes everything!". It's all stuff I have to explain (or just nod & smile thru) that I already know (ginger biscuits and dry crackers help with nausea / that hollow feeling), and am already doing (drinking lots of water) and have already made my own personal decisions about (if and when I'll be eating sushi).

What is most peculiar to me is that I haven't met a mom who doesn't lament the constant stream of unsolicited advice from people ... yet some of them still do it? Boggles the mind. Is it strange that I don't really care how other people are raising their kids. Make no mistake I may ask what they're doing and their opinion on things, just to hear different points of view ... like this whole current baby-led-weaning craze I find fascinating. And no, I have no opinion of my own on it yet ;)

Actually being asked "how are you?" is also weird these days. Like people are waiting for me to tell them how awful it is so we can compare morning sickness stories ... I don't have anything exciting to tell. I don't feel 100% in the mornings but have avoided any actual vomiting so far. The thing I enjoy hearing least is when everyone else started their morning sickness ... especially when it's still in the future for me. Haha. It feels like a pokey witchy finger pointing at me saying "I'm still coming for you, my pretty".

And then there are the people who want to shower you with all the things their kid no longer needs. I've had verbal offers of this, but have received nothing yet, so am unsure where I stand on this. It sounds helpful since there really is a lot you need for a kid. But I'm also getting offers for baby books (not books for babies, books about babies & being pregnant) ... what are people using baby books for these days? I have Google. In fact I have Google available pretty much 24/7 on my phone ... if anything weird happens that I'm unsure about or any sort of question pops into my head, I google it. Often right there and then.

Speaking of Google, I had to use it the other morning, the day after the scan. I got this super weird feeling ... and didn't really know what to google exactly, but I found the answer I was looking for. See, much better than paging thru a book, hoping for the best ... And for my daily / weekly baby growing progress updates, I have the What to Expect website and app and emails. And then there are some fabulous blogs too ;) Really, who has time to read anything more?

So yeah. Baby is plodding along internally, and I'm handling the new interest in my belly from all and sundry as best I can :)

Aside from that I didn't really think I'd had any cravings yet ... except that I can't seem to go shopping on my own anymore - haha. But at the moment Green Apples are my go-to food. I know for a lot of people that's also a nausea thing, but I think for me it's the fresh crispness. We added apple pieces to our chicken salad the other night and then I made my first "weird concoction" for dinner the other night ... I had some Cottage Cheese with Tzatziki and I mixed in pieces of chopped cucumber and apple. And I had this "sauce" on my ostrich burger. Yeah, I think it qualifies - haha.

The other thing I've noticed is "craving" (probably not really craving, more just simple thinking about and wanting) childhood comfort type foods ... white (best of both) toast with honey on. Yum. And when I was grocery shopping the other day, I came home with about a month's worth of dessert options (Lite custard and packets of Simply Delish jelly powder and soya chocolate desserts - so hopefully not completely terrible for us, haha!). Which is even weirder since I'd stopped wanting dessert after dinner for the couple of weeks before then.

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

9 September: 8 weeks, 4 days

So we had our first scan today! Baby's first photo. Not that it looks at all like a baby yet :/

But it has really given me a much needed peace of mind ... I dunno why I was so worried. I guess since I'm now 34, I've heard many stories of friends who've miscarried their first pregnancies ... and others who have struggled to even get pregnant for the first or second time. I guess it's about wanting something so bad and just being nervous.

But all is looking good. I know it's still not a 100% sure thing ... they do say wait till 12 weeks and all, but seeing it, not an empty sac (biggest worry!), has made a world of difference. It's real, it's there. It has a teeny heart beating a million times a second (okay, so not quite that much, but faster than ours nonetheless). We couldn't hear the heart yet (cause it was just an ultrasound tech, not a doctor, they said they won't do them till 12 weeks), but we sure could see the flashing little blip in the middle of the peanut / jellybean shape.

In case you're wondering looking at that very un-baby-like looking photo, the baby is the peanut shape at the bottom. The circle thing floating above it is apparently the yolk sac

It is nerve wracking, lying there, unable to see anything ... I spose when it's the very first scan they'd rather check things out first. But trying to measure The Trucker's or the tech's expressions ... eventually I burst and asked if everything was okay. Yip. All good :D

She measured the embryo/fetus (apparently that switch over is happening this week!) and everything is spot on (she has me as 1 day ahead: 8 weeks, 5 days ... which I doubt makes much of a difference in the grand scheme of things)



So today was probably the most exciting day since we first found out (shew, it's almost a month since then already!).

Haha, and did you notice that the baby is apparently the size of a green olive (2.54cm) this week? The Trucker is convinced (hopeful?) I'll start craving olives sometime during my pregnancy, because I HATE them. However, I am pretty sure there is nothing on earth that could make me want to eat an olive and that there is nothing in them that a baby could possibly need ... so I reckon I'm safe ;)

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

5 September: 8 weeks

So, I now definitely have some symptoms to show for it! Luckily (and thankfully) still no true morning sickness. I mean I do get that starving hollow feeling, and feel marginally ill, but no vomiting at all as yet ... when the feeling hits, I just stuff a mini ginger biscuit in my face, drink some water and I seem to be okay :) Those mini ginger biscuits packets from Woolies & Spar are a life saver for preggie ladies, I expect :)

What I am experiencing tho, in abundance, is pregnancy fatigue. Seriously. It's unbelievable. The Trucker was always the napper in our family ... seriously the man will nap every afternoon available. I usually laze reading my book next to him, but I'd very rarely actually fall asleep during day time.

These days tho, I nap every weekend and have been falling asleep in front of the TV. And before he even comes to bed most nights ... because he's about 5mins later than me! He says it's like I have sleep apnea :/

You remember when he tore all those tendons in his ankle, I napped thru it. After yelling for me, the poor injured boy had to hobble all the way to our bedroom to wake me and tell me I needed to take him to the ER. Oops.

We went for dinner the other night, and I was falling asleep at the table, barely able to maintain conversation past 20h15! And to make things worse, because he's in the moonboot, I had to drive us home! I've told him there is no way I can drive after 8pm any more ... not cause I'll fall asleep at the wheel, I doubt that'd happen, but because I can't concentrate thru the exhaustion properly. I can't focus.

That's why I've been so bad at  Boot Camp, aside from being doubly exhausted from it, I usually only have enough energy to fall onto the couch or curl up and snooze when I get home from work in the afternoons. It's ridonkulous, it is completely surreal. I mean I'd heard about it before, but I NEVER understood! Prior to this, it sounds completely mad that you could be this exhausted by doing nothing. I apologise to any pregnant woman I doubted before. This is no joke.

Other than that, still pretty abstract. People are finding out as I chat to them and they notice I'm not drinking alcohol etc. Plus work has me scheduled on projects into my Maternity Leave next year :/ And everyone seems super excited ... I think they're a little disappointed that I'm not more excited.

Do not misunderstand. I am SUPER excited. Inside. It's not real yet. I know it, but I don't quite believe it. And I'm still terrified something could go wrong ... But, hopefully next week all that will change because we're going for our first scan!!

I know it might be a bit early, I've heard you can only hear the heartbeat from 9wks. We'll be 8.5wks then ... But my first gynae visit feels like miles away (we'll be 12wks I think) because of our Turkey trip, it was the first appointment I could get. And when our trip got cancelled, I did try to bring the appointment forward but by then she was fully booked. #sigh

OMG. I am nervous and excited and terrified and can NOT wait till Tuesday :)

Oh, and in case you were at all worried, my blood tests came back and I am immune to the German Measles, so that was a relief (although, mostly expected)

Monday, September 15, 2014

Yawn

Shew. Feeling a bit low this morning. And I have a busy week ahead. I think work might be stressing me out a little lately.

But the weekend was good. Just, not enough ... as usual haha. On Friday I stayed late at work because there was a talk on Ancient Civilisations by a friend of mine. I'd sent her a link to the SCA Conference because I knew she'd find it interesting ... I did too, but only a few of the talks and it was quite pricey. And the talk she gave was based on things she'd heard there. It was fantastically interesting and I was amazed at how many placed I've been (Pyramids & Sphinx, Nazca Lines and Machu Picchu, Great Wall of China) and still want to go/see (Aurora Borealis & Rapa Nui) popped up - haha! And she told us all about an amazing place in Turkey that I won't get to ...

We had a quiet evening at home on Friday ... we were supposed to be on a plane to Istanbul :(

On Saturday, I went to meet @Arkwife and @Rubyletters at our usual, Papachinos, for brunch. So lovely seeing them again :)

After that I got home to find The Trucker and the gardener planting the new plants and adding more compost and lawn dressing. Looking awesome :)

And then at about 4pm we collected The Trucker's niece and headed off to visit him Mom in the Free State (and we took Pepper with us too). We got there after dark and had a relaxed evening.

Was surprised with our first gift for the baby by his mom, a bunch of clothes and a blanket (why is it called a receiving blanket? How is it different to a normal blanket?) and little booties. She'd even washed it all already! All very cute and a little frightening. Eep. The Trucker and I decided we weren't buying anything till I was 12 weeks (not too long now). Plus I guess it was a reminder of how everyone else gets involved. I know The Peeb has been knitting up a storm already ... but that's a little further away so less real. Now everyone seems to be waiting to hear if it's a girl or a boy before buying anything more ... shew. We don't even have anywhere to put the baby's new clothes yet ... the spare room is still full of unpacked boxes and tools :/

And then on Sunday morning we all headed to Bethlehem to visit his gran in frail care. We got home at about 5pm and did our grocery shopping.

I was not feeling great. I think, in future, I'm going to have to take some of the ASIC tablets I got (for when we fly since I won't be able to take Stugeron this time) when we drive long distances.

Early to bed. But unfortunately haven't slept well the last 2 nights :(

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