Still Good

Wow, can I reiterate again what a difference 7 days makes :) Still in an awesome mood after a lovely weekend.

On Friday night I took The Trucker on a date night ... all secret and stuff like he does for me. Haha. It is less exciting because he puts up less of a fuss about having no idea where we're going ;) But he loved the new little restaurant we tried. I took him to Dukes Burgers in Greenside. I'd never been either.

Well, the service was non-existant. Seriously, thruout the evening and the place was busy, but I hardly think that's an excuse based on how many staff they had working. We waited around at the entrance for a while to be seated and eventually gave up and just went to find the table reserved with my name. Then we had to eventually stop a passing waitress to ask for menus (after watching all of them congregating around the bar area for the entire time we'd been waiting). At one point in the evening, after having ordered a 2nd round of drinks from our waitress when she brought our meals, The Trucker just went to the bar and got our drinks himself because they just never arrived ... and when she brought our bill she couldn't remember how many drinks we'd had.

So, aside from their horrendous service ( and on your busiest evenings, it should be jacked up, really, I feel), the food was good and their menu is quite amazing, it was hard to choose from so many options :) I had an ostrich burger (with brie and something, I forget) and The Trucker stuck with a beef burger with 3 cheeses. I think we'd go back ... during the week.

On Saturday we had a quick breakfast and then headed out to Reitz for the night to visit The Trucker's mom ... who's birthday is today. Highlight of the day was that we finally got to visit the wolves! Basically there is a farm there that looks after wolves and wolf-hybrids. We got to go into the enclosures and pet them and even played with 2 cubs they had that were a few months old. So so cute!

On Sunday we went for breakfast at a little restaurant run by the same guy and then after a nap we drove home. It was a very relaxing weekend :) And in very exciting news, planning for my birthday-holiday is coming together really nicely! Yay.

Loved Up

Well, in a total reversal of last week, this week I have been in an awesome mood and having a fabulous week! Haha. Happens like that, I guess.

The Trucker & I are definitely still riding the high of our get-back-together :) *gush* I do rather adore this boy, he can be so sweet to me. Am feeling very loved up right now. And so excited planning Mom & Peeb's weekend up here in Feb and a week in CT with The Trucker in March for The Peeb's wedding.

On Tuesday afternoon I went and got my eye-test done. I haven't had an eye test in probably at least 4 years ... And apparently I'm about as close to 20/20 as I can get (without actually still having 100% perfect vision). Basically my one eye is a 0.125 (or something) and their measurements only start from 0.25 ... so I could barely notice the difference between the two. So there is no need for any prescriptions or anything yet. All good news, as far as I'm concerned. But it was 16h30 and I think my eyes were tired after a day in front of the computer screen ... the best time of day for an eye test, according to the optometrist. Anyhoo, will have to remember to add that to my annual list of things to get done.

I also got a few photo's printed ... because on Wednesday I carted off my giant Microwave box of 34 frames to the guy who is going to be doing all the mountings. I am so so so excited. I can't wait to get the photo's all mounted in their frames and get them all hung on my wall. Can. Not. Wait. Should be getting them back next Friday :) This has been such a long time coming ... sheesh, two & a half years!

On Tuesday evening I went to Simply Asia for dinner with @nadia_ass. Less impressive that I was hoping for ... I forget that their normal food is not my favourite sort of Thai (wow, must go back to Cranks soon!) - usually I go for their spicy prawn soup, which I *love*. So the food was a mere distraction for the evening which was spent in deep conversation catching up on each others lives :)

Last night I was tired and spent a quiet evening in front of the tv. But, the Trucker came over after dinner with @Toxic_Mouse :)

*yawn*

A Second Attempt

Righto, and life continues along it's bizarre path ... last night The Trucker did, in fact, come over. I know, weirdest break up ever, right?

The truth is we're no longer broken up.

He came over, I made dinner, we chatted some more without the TV on ... I think this is actually an awesome new trick I plan to employ. Somehow you'd think that surely when you go out for dinner you'd talk and chat and catch-up face-to-face properly ... and I guess sometimes you do and sometimes you've spent so much time with someone recently that it's nice to just sit quietly (or you can just make up new stuff to chat about, but that can go either way, honestly). But I think what we skipped was the sitting around at home chatting. It's nice to have found it again because I don't think we've done much other than that since Friday evening.

We discussed our days, we've always been very good at that. And actually there is some very promising news on his work-front. Not that I think it'll free up much of his time necessarily, but rather that it'll put him in less of a blue mood. So fingers crossed about all that :) And then I said to him, it's almost like we didn't actually break up.

And so started the discussion around where to from here. Honestly his time isn't that much of a problem for me ... I'm quite used to boys who work late (anyone know one who doesn't?) and are pretty single-mindedly focused on work. All I need is to know what's going on, really. I like to be organised and know what's planned and what to expect. I don't think it's going to be easy. I'm hoping we can keep the upfront honesty going about how we feel and what we want and what works and what doesn't. Who knows.

It was remarkably easy to switch right back (and that's not to say we didn't both think this break-up was for real, we returned all our stuff, we made other plans), although I think we're both a little tentative to see how things go and to take it easy and not put any undue pressure on the situation. But it was really nice and my heart is much lighter this morning :)

Confusion

So last week was a quiet one on the blog, I know. I just didn't feel up for writing about things when I had no idea what was going on. The Trucker and I didn't speak for 4 days. I think it started out as a little space after annoying each other on Monday evening. Sometimes that's what one needs. But it spiraled out of control and we didn't speak again properly till Friday evening, when we broke up.

Yes, we broke up. I knew from Wednesday that things could go either way. Obviously I was hoping they wouldn't go that way, but I think I had prepared myself for the possibility. I'm sad but calm and matter-of-fact, honestly.

In fact so much has happened since then on Friday I actually no longer have any idea what is going on anymore. We had the most amazing and openly honest conversation I think we've ever had since we started dating ... The one thing I have learnt is that you are a lot more honest with someone when they're your friend than when you're dating them because you can hurt them ... it's a problem, I think.

So, with nothing left to lose, I asked all the questions that had been knawing in my brain and driving me crazy .. like all about the ex-girlf who works across the corridor from him, who lives 4 doors away and who's house keys he has. I got answers that I honestly didn't expect (I thought she was still a part of his life because of that, but she's not and he returned her house keys, which he still had to feed the dogs, months ago). After hours of talking, I actually thought things could've gone either way. But we're still broken up.

He just simply doesn't seem to have the time for a relationship. Well, for the sort I want. He's in a situation in his life where even if he wanted me to be a priority, I can't be ... because he has so many  inescapable obligations and responsibilities (3 companies and supporting his sister & 9yr old niece) that can't be the things to give when they start making demands ... but I can. Because of those things, he has a lot less control over his life and his time than he wants, which often puts him in grumpy and miserable moods ... in fact the days that went well are so few and far between I can barely remember them. Things were quite awesome in November & December when work quietened down. But that is far from the majority of the time.

So that is how we left things on Friday evening. But I saw him for lunch on Saturday (was supposed to be breakfast but he was on the road at 06:30 dealing with Truck issues both weekend mornings ... kinda highlighting the point above). He came over on Sunday evening, bringing me dinner because I had no power and we sat in candle light eating and talking more. Eventually the power came back on and he mounted my elephant coat rack to the wall (which was why he was originally coming over). He left when one of his other obligations (software they've written that went down on Sunday afternoon) needed his attention. We've returned all the stuff we had at each other's houses. And when he left last night he talked about seeing me again this evening ...

It's very weird, I won't lie. It's like it's almost the same, but not. I don't have any idea where to from here. I like him. No, I adore him. I even think after all our honest chatting this weekend that he likes me more than I gave him credit for or could believe before this. We just seem to need different things right now. I am the person with space and time, who can keep myself busy if I need to, but I will shuffle my life around to accommodate my relationship. I suspect he is the sort of busy person who needs someone who is equally busy with their own life where you catch up in the quiet time. Unfortunately he has no quiet time these days ...

I did keep myself busy this weekend tho ... it's hard for me tho, cause obviously if we were still dating I would've wanted to be seeing him. But since we'd broken up, it made it easier for me to have no expectations of that. But I worry that'll mean we end up seeing each other again but on his terms, in a way that suits him but isn't what I want from a relationship. I don't know, it's early days, but that's definitely something I'm acutely aware of. More of a problem seems to be that he doesn't know what he wants. From life or me or an relationship in general or really anything at the moment.

So, the other weekend stuff included a fair amount of retail therapy. I bought that piece of furniture I found online last weekend. And I love it. It's a wine rack from River Woods (I got the wide individual) and it is absolutely perfect for the area it's in (on a diagonal wall, under my newly mounted elephant coat rack). Seriously it is perfect. Then next item on my list was the Scroll Day Bed from Mr Price Home. I've been eyeing it for a while for my spare room - I didn't want a plain old single bed in there because I didn't want it to feel like a guest bedroom, since it'll probably only get used about 6 nights of a year (and that'd be a lot!). So I thought this would be more practical for future potential. I plan to get a high-density foam mattress for it and pile it high with cushions :)

Sheesh, but what a hassle. I had originally seen it at the window at Mr Price Northgate. But they didn't have stock when I asked, but Clearwater did. So on Saturday morning I phoned them, to discover they had no stock. But I could place an order, which should arrive in 2-3weeks. In which case, I figured I'd rather not schlep all the way there but order it straight from Northgate. Who, it turned out, magically actually had stock :)

So, after checking if it would fit in my little c2 (omw it did, sticking out the boot, but still!), I bought it and took it home. I managed to get it out of my car and into my house. I cleared out tall the clutter in the spare room and went about opening the day bed. Only to discover 2 sides were bent. So I tried to get it back into it's packaging, I managed to get it out side again, but I could NOT get it back into my car on my own. Queue total single-girl meltdown including tears. This, this is what I hate about being single. There are simply some things you can't do on your own and you need another person for. Yes, you can ask a friend, but I hate doing that. But I had no choice. The Trucker, who I know would still help if I needed it, was busy off dealing with Trucks and I was determined to do this without him. So I phoned TheBrad, who lives really nearby now, and even tho I woke him, he came over and helped me with it all. We took it back to Northgate and they (again, magically), had another item in stock, so we checked it in store and took it back home again and got it all assembled in my spare room (yes, assembly even required 2 people ... #sigh). Success.

In the evening, I went for sushi with @samanthaperry and on Sunday I headed to the Chinese New Year thing at the Nanhua Buddhist Temple in Bronkhorstspruit with @jarredcinman and some other friends. It was pretty cool, absolute chaos of crowds tho. Some yummy food :) I didn't stay that long, I wasn't really in the right frame of mind for it. Afterwards I popped in at Rosebank to get the name of a guy who can apparently do my photo mountings for my photo wall - I really want that done before Mom & The Peeb come visit in February :)

Another Surprise Date Night

Wow, I really seem to have lost my blogging mojo. Just so not interested right now ...

The weekend was pretty good. Surprise Date Night on Friday was the Planetarium. The Trucker took his 9yr old niece and I and it was awesome. I probably last went back in primary school in Cape Town. Such a fun offbeat idea for an evening out :) Although I do kinda wish they'd kept the lights out and just let us sit and watch the stars moving over time for about 15mins at the end. That would've been awesome. I'm not that interested in the astronomy stuff. And I really do struggle to see how on earth they made up the constellations!! But I am now very keen for the clouds to clear in the evening so that we can use the star chart to spot the stars & planets (Jupiter is in our sky at the moment) that were mentioned. Probably the most entertaining part of the evening for me tho was listening to The Trucker's niece telling her mom the stories when we got home.

On Saturday morning we woke up late and The Trucker made breakfast. He's been promising me his Orange Juice French Toast for months now ... I was skeptical, and I doubt it'll become a favourite, but it wasn't too bad ;) Haha. And then we went to do some shopping ... and I figured out exactly what I need for the one wall in my lounge ... and even better, on Sunday I found the perfect thing online :) Going to go check it out in real life next weekend! Sigh, since I organised my lounge, it seems like I just need more furniture. Haha.

Anyway, the weather was weird on Saturday and we just spent the rest of the afternoon & evening relaxing. We tried to watch a movie, but Thor crashed about half an hour in :P Then we struggled to find something else we wanted to watch and ended up watching Scre4m. Which was a waste of time, but that's sometimes the way it goes with what you leave to watch on small screen :P

On Sunday I had @tfrayne and @zoosev coming over for brunch which was awesome :) After that, The Trucker got his Buell working and he came to pick me up and we went to a friend of his for a birthday braai and the most delish burgers I've had in a while! We went for a walk at Golden Harvest after that.