Friday, December 22, 2006

Twas the Friday before Christmas

After sending out my Christmas Wishes email yesterday - late I know, for all the people who are most likely on leave already, but they'll get it when they're back and know I was thinking of them :) For the rest of your reading, here are my wishes for you:

I hope you all have a fantastic break (be it a lengthy one away from home or just enjoying the long weekend away from work) and a wonderful Christmas day spent with the people you love.

Mom, Dad & Peeb, it just won't be Christmas without you so, I've decided to skip it this year :) Here's hoping Jhb has some good sun-shiny weather so that my friend JC and I can enjoy our anti-Christmas picnic together.

And as these annual mass mail-type messages do, it started a few mail conversations & catch-ups with old friends :) Which is always nice. I did have a really interesting chat with an old school friend of mine, EvilBob. He'd been thru a long-term relationship break-up earlier this year and it seems our feelings were quite similar, he's just had months to find the words ...

Wanting that missing something is soo intangible but you know somehow it something you need. Nothing is outright wrong but slowly the small things that never bothered you become issues because you know the there is a bigger issue that you can't really explain. You argue over stupid things... It is someone you love and its best to end it before you end up hating them for something that is outside their control and something they can't fix.

Hurting someone you love and not being able to provide a real reason sucks, but you WILL be happier in the long run.

Exactly, but how terrible is that? I'm still having those pangs of memory, of the perfection of the relationship Bean and I had in my head and the one I thought we were supposed to be having in real life. He should be in Cape Town with his folks and friends now, I hope that helps him thru this. This weekend I have the unpleasant task of facing my decision head-on and going to his place where we lived together for nearly 2 years and pack up the rest of my stuff. Hopefully it'll be cathartic. I know it'll be sad. But that is only tomorrow.

Yesterday was a slow day at work, and I expect that'll be the case till January. After work I spent some time chatting & relaxing with Loulou & her crazy cat, Honey, at home. She's on leave now & off to East London this evening. Then it was off to drinks with JC. It's the first time I've seen him since he fell in love, so there was much gushing while his usually cynical personality took a back seat ;) Hopefully I'll get to meet the lovely lady at our anti-Christmas picnic, which should be at a nice botantical garden round here, but if that's closed we have a back-up plan: one of the road-islands on Hans Strydom ;) Oh, and he has a spanking new car, an Alpha GT ... it's red :) Nicely done.

After that I went home and finished watching the 4th season of Scrubs. Over the past few months, I haven't only turned to reading for my much needed escapism from my life, I've been watching Scrubs seasons 1 - 4. It's a good show. Now I can move on to finishing Prison Break, which Bean & I started together. At least that won't be quite as weird as watching Lost or 24 without him will be when the next seasons come out.

And now I feel I should introduce another character to my blog. MTJAF (I'm going to have to find a better nickname ... MTJAF will now be Varen. It's okay, he understands it so it'll do for now, till something more appropriate presents itself) has been mentioned before briefly and has played a fairly significant role in my life in the last few months. Here's the background story: We work together, although we'd never spoken until we landed up on a training course together where neither of us knew anyone else there. And so began a really good friendship. There was also an attraction there, but I wasn't available. Hell, at that stage neither was he and there was just the usual banter and innocent flirting of friends. When Bean & I broke up for about a month earlier in the year (roundabout September, I think), we did kiss. And after Bean & I got back together, we stayed friends and he listened to everything that was going on in my life, we laughed a lot and he provided some brief respite from my muddled thoughts.

Meanwhile, he wanted something more. And as I mentioned in my previous post, eventually we cut off all contact ... which was really hard to do because we'd become such good friends and in the workplace, that can be hard to find. But at the time, it needed to be done. Now that I'm not so muddled anymore and suddenly find myself available again, we have gravitated back into each other's orbits. And it's really nice. So tonight we're having dinner together.

And after another speedy gloss over the last few months of my life, I'm off. I may 3G-in during the weekend and post an update, but don't hold your breathe. So until after Christmas, have a good one :)

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