Wednesday, February 21, 2007

It's Been a Long Morning Already

So, what started out as a long evening has turned into an even longer morning!

Nothing too exciting to report from yesterday. Enjoyed a good work function for the latter half of the day and then headed off to Belly Dancing. Pretty cool, we had a new instructor. But I do miss Tenille's classes that focus more on technique and spend way more time checking everyone does the moves correctly etc. These classes I've been to up in Jhb don't seem too interested in that as long as it sort of looks right and you're following the dance they're teaching.

Anyway, and then it was a night spent at home watching TV. CSI seems to be focusing more on their characters love lives these days than their actual crime-solving ... but hey, whatever :P And then there was a double bill of Nip/Tuck. So I was up late wondering what the hell kind of pills these script writers were on, exactly.

People in the world can't really be like these guys. They have absolutely no moral fibre. Someone please tell me that they're not based on the world at large! If they are, I'm in trouble ... and in the serious minority.

I spend so much time in my head worrying over moral issues and trying to do the right thing and make the right decisions. It's quite exhausting but I simply cannot help myself, it's just the way I'm built. Yes, alright, I already know I have a serious "responsible older sibling" thing going.

I deliberated for ages over the decision to break up with Bean. I'm currently twisted up in trying to figure out what to do in my relationship with Varen: Is it too soon after Bean? Is that unfair to him, to us? Can I find the feelings he's waiting so patiently for me to have? Can I justify putting him thru this chaos and confusion while I figure things out?

And along with all that, I'm also trying to figure out where my life is headed and what the right path would be. If Bean and I had survived and skipped the last 5 months of last year and were still blissfully happy together, I would be relocating to the UK with him in a month and a half. As it is, I'm still not sure if that is something I should do or not. In typical South African-youth style, moving to the UK has been part of my life plan since I left school. I just haven't gotten round to doing it yet. Does this mean it's not to be ... or is now the right stage of my life for it?

Should I stay working where I am, if I head to London it does make sense to stay till then and at least try to relocate with them (they have a branch there, it would be the logical choice). Should I make a move to JofH's company ... he's keen. And now, I've been "tracked down" by my old college's recruitment branch ... it seems the woman who was principal while I was studying there is searching for me for a project the company she now works for is starting. And she specifically wants me. Hmmm ... interesting and confusing.

Anyway, for now I'll follow the job offers and see how they go ... I guess if the cash is impressive enough, it's worth seriously considering. Made more so by the fact that I have been awake since 4:30am this morning working on a Production issue. Blegh.

Oh, and today there are birthday wishes for my Grandmother's favourite unmarried son-in-law ;)

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