Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Position Vacant, Apply Within

Last night was fab, was great to see all the book club girls again :)

Oh, and on a complete aside, I've decided I need new, proper nicknames for the girls. There's Loulou, that's easy. There's Band who's dating Bean's friend Unicef. There's Sal of Sal&Bru ... who will now be known as Lady&Bug. Then there's She of She&War who will now be Lime&Lemon. Then there's 2 more girls who've never been mentioned before: Anonymous Lawyer and The Queen of KPMG. Okay, these may change a little more over time ... nick-naming people is hard work!

Well, we were all there last night at Anonymous Lawyer's ... except Loulou (it was her mom's bday, so she was obliged to be elsewhere). It was a fab evening with some great catering, good company and a few new exciting reads.

And then there's something else I need to put out there ... Varen is taking me on a surprise weekend away in mid-May. It may not sound like the most likely thing two people who're supposed to be officially broken up should do, but I think it sounds like fun and things are good between us at the moment. All ups and no downs.

As he said in his email: "I've rarely (never?), through all of this, been able to plan something nice for me and you and i think that this would kind of be our last hurrah before i set off into the scary world again -- limbo can't last forever you know"

So that caused a bit of weirdness yesterday morning ... I guess, as much as I like the concept of scheduling the end, knowing it's coming up and going out with a bang, as it were, I was still fairly annoyed by this whole situation.

I guess I've figured out the problem with the anti-dating we've sort of been up to lately. We're friends, but only do stuff with each other. We're not dating so we don't invite each other along to anything else we might be doing that involves other people. It's a bizarre sort of relationship. And I just hope it can adjust itself into some sort of friendship when it really is over for real ... although I'm not sure if it would survive either of us dating someone else.

So, in preparation for my soon to be searching single status, here are my requirements:

  • you must be no older than 32 and no younger than 25

  • your English must be good enough to pass as your first language

  • I have a definite preference for dark hair and green eyes (that doesn't rule out blondes, but I seem to tend to date primarily brunette men)

  • you should be around 6ft tall (apparently my subconscious is trying to ensure I override the short genes on both sides of my family)

  • you should have a fabulous sense of humour and also find me occasionally funny (I think of nights lying in bed next to Bean in absolute hysterics. Also, be warned, I'm apparently usually at my funniest when I'm sincerely trying to be serious!)

  • you should have some ambition and a good job (this does not include working till 9pm every night, but will ensure you can one day support your family)

  • you should be anywhere between average and amazing in the kitchen (I'm not fabulous myself, so there should be balance)

  • you should enjoy geting stuck into a good book and be open to reading a variety of themes (I've had such fun recommending books to Varen and chatting about them after he's finished)

  • you should like to try new restaurants and enjoy a wide variety of flavours

  • you should have a normal interest in sport (I'm perfectly keen to go to the occasional live rugby or cricket game but I have no desire to plan my social life around the supersport calendar. Keeping in mind that any sort of interest in boxing or wrestling means you can stop reading now!)

  • you should have an interest in traveling (I like to do at least one major overseas trip a year and lots of local weekends away)

  • you should be able to organise more than live sporting events for the two of us (I'm an organiser by nature, but there's nothing nicer than your better half suggesting a weekend away or putting some effort into the things you do together)

  • you should notice the little things, things I like and things I don't and put this information to good use (Varen taught me the value of this one!)

  • you should be attentive of your own will (everyone needs attention and needs to feel like they are receiving it in sufficient quantities, this should, at worst, be a 70-30 balance)

  • you should have a backbone (not in the literal sense, although this is probably crucial too. I need someone with their own opinions and will know the difference on when to fight me on it and when to leave it alone - ever wishful!)

  • you need to know when to say sorry (that is, when you're wrong or have done something that upset me ... definitely not for everything I call you on)

  • you should like pets (my mom thinks I should marry a farmer ;) I want a miniture pot-bellied pig one day with my border collie, koi pond and guinea pig)

  • any family holiday houses wouldn't go amis

  • there should be a mutual attraction (this one is a deal-breaker)

And that is all I can think of off the top of my head for now ... will advise if I think of anything else. If you feel you or anyone you know meets the above criteria, drop me a comment ;) I figure the interviewing process should take about 3 - 6 months, perhaps longer and I'm not getting any younger!

Okay, so this is more wishful thinking than anything else, but I'm a firm believer of having a good idea of what your "likes" are. I mean, the chances are high that my future Mr. Perfect may not be ideal in every category (what are the chances of that, seriously?) and I also know that what you want is not always what you need from a person. Sometimes we surprise outselves. But this here is what I'm working towards ... I refuse to entertain the very real fact that if I really ever did meet a guy who got a tick in every box, it probably still wouldn't work ;) But hey, I can dream ...

7 comments:

akika said...

How scary. I match quite a few of your criteria ... except for the physical bit and the age bit ... and presuming 'mutual attraction' doesn't include a great desire to throw things at each other when we're within a 10 foot radius, probably not that one either!
Scary hey?

phillygirl said...

Yes, Peeby, that is scary ... is it possible you have influenced my wants in men? Blegh, I doubt it.

Besides, I don't think any of this is rocket science or that I have vastly different tastes of most women out there.

Loulou said...

Let me know where you find one of those! And what about someone who can support you so you don't have to work and can 'find yourself'?

phillygirl said...

Yeah, that's a good one ... but not a minimum requirement. Doesn't it go without saying in "you should have some ambition and a good job"? Surely all boys should know that's what happens post-aisle-stroll ;)

Louisa said...

Hahaha! Good list :-)
I decided to make a list a while back and ended up with about 20 items under must have and about 6 under nice-to-haves...something tells me I might be demanding?

Good luck...

Phlippy said...

I checked all but three boxes, mainly because I don't have green eyes [how often do you EVER find dark hair green eyes... twit], and I'm not six foot [rather 5'8"]
Also, mutual attraction thing - how would one know if they haven't met you?

phillygirl said...

@louisa - I'm trying to to think of it in terms of must-haves and nice to haves, I'm aiming for a guideline for myself and any willing men out there ... I've tried to combine the things I've liked in my ex's. Fingers crossed, but really, what are the chances??

@phlippy - I seem to track down boys with dark hair & green eyes, it's the way I like 'em ;) at least 3 of my ex's have the right combo.
And you have met me ... but the mutual attraction thing should be a given, and without it, I'd be wasting my time dating someone? It'll be the "in real life" deal breaker ;)

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