Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Hard to be Alone

So it was a quiet evening with much smoothie-smoothing and soup-heating (Yay, Woolies brought back my old favourite: Sun-dried Tomato & Creme Fresh).

Had a long chat with JofH who interrupted my bath-time ... it seems this Job Decision just won't get made. Every time I think it's done and I'm decided and I can relax and just let everything wash over me, it un-decides itself. How rude.

So I have till tomor to give him an answer. On the plus side, tomorrow is a public holiday :) Yay for Human Rights.

And that is about all. Spent a large part of the evening emersed in my book ... which I finished. It's a fabulous form of escapism and helps me not to feel terribly sorry for myself as the reality of 2 failed relationships in the last 4 months creeps up to haunt me. Yup, these are things that do not make me feel good about myself. As much as I know Varen cared for me a great deal (loved, even), it doesn't help me thru this phase one bit. The fact that they were both my fault is rather frustrating and doesn't leave me with that nice warm hopeful feeling for the future. And besides, where does one meet nice eligible men in Joburg?

So, as I said I've been busy reading. On the weekend I finished Steve Hamilton's I Want My Life Back.

"At the age of 15 I already had a criminal record, busted by the drug squad for possession of an illigal substance. You'd think I'd have learned my lesson, wouldn't you, but I'm still learning, even though I'm clean of street drugs now - well, just for today - and have a lot of clean time behind me. The hardest lesson of all for an addict is that the nightmare is never over and the powerful seduction of just one more high never ever goes away." Steve Hamilton's story is not a comfortable one. He tells of his life growing up with drugs and his battles with heroin, the book is at times harrowing reading but his story is touching and heartfelt throughout.

I enjoyed this book. It's a little disjointed as he keeps explaining, he is brain-damaged as a result of the drugs and it means things don't happen in order when he remembers them. And that's pretty much how he wrote the book. It's one I'd definitely think of getting my kids to read one day when they get to around that age. It certainly shows all the truly scary things drug-addiction can do to you.

And then last night I finished Roslund & Hellstrom's The Beast.

Two children are found dead in a basement. Four years later, their murderer escapes from prison. The police know if he is not found quickly, he will kill again. But when their worst fears come true and another child is murdered, the situation spirals out of control. In an atmosphere of hysteria whipped up by the media, Fredrik Steffansson, father of the murdered child, decides he must take revenge. His actions will have devastating consequences. Winner of Scandinavia's most prestigious crime-writing award: The Glass Key for Best Crime Novel of the Year.

This one was okay and translated well. I quite liked the ending but it had extra bits in the middle that just seemed to be there purely as a comment on humanity that didn't really have that much to do with the central story-line. There are far more better written stories in the same genre.


Lopz said...

Didn't Steve Hamilton once come to our school to do a talk on drugs? I seem to remember him from junior school too. That was one of the most powerful anti-drug talks I ever heard... just looking at what a mess he was physically and mentally from his addictions put me off big time. So I guess he accomplished his goals.

Don't worry babe, it's definitely not all you - it really does take 2 to tango you know. Somewhere in there is a little bit of responsibility on someone else's shoulders. Vasbyt kind! The right man is out there somewhere... at least, A right man.

phillygirl said...

Yup, that's the guy. Impressive memory you're sporting there ;) It was a pretty hectic book to read too ... I seriously suggest, if you enjoyed his talks, to get your hands on it when you are back home - does kalahari ship to UK? ;)

Yeah, I know ... It's all just been a far too bizarre couple of months for me. I'm just kind of sitting back right now and letting things wash over me and not thinking too much. A more "if it feels right, go with it" sort of mentality. That should get me thru this ... right? Thanks for the support, it is always appreciated :)

Oh, if only I had patience as a virtue ...

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