Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Noticed The Trend?

There seems to be a trend ... is that how things happen in life or do you just start noticing certain things more?

Well, Bean and I broke up in mid-December. And while I was going thru all the ups and downs of making that decision I know one of my good friend's fairly long relationship went the way of the toilet too.

Then there was the little upset last week between Varen and myself. The same weekend that Peas found herself newly single.

And when I saw Bean on Monday evening, I discovered that in his group of friends there were many updates. The couple who'd been together the longest, finally got engaged. So did the couple who'd been together the shortest. And the couple who'd got married first found out they were pregnant. So did the couple who got married most recently.

It's everywhere. It's hard. It's where I was supposed to be ... it's probably about where you think you'll be at 27 too.

Life doesn't happen how you imagine - shock, horror, I know, but I'm still trying to get my head around it too. When I was young (back in high-school), I thought I'd get married at the ripe old age of 22 and start popping out babies at 25. That was till I got a little closer to that age and realised it wasn't on the cards. Not only was I not ready for all that lot, but I most certainly had not yet met the man.

And where does that leave me now, being surrounded by people (or hearing about people I know) who are "there" and making all these adult life-long decisions? Although it does leave a pang in the pit of my stomach, it in no way encourages me to join the trend before ensuring (to the best of my ability) that it is the most right decision I could make - I plan on it being life-long, okay?

It's a sort of weird place to be. I want these things to happen (one day, not today exactly) and am trying my very best to be patient about it and not force it ... and not float away on a depression since I have
recently ruined any immediate chance of it :P

I don't really know where I was going with this, but Congrats to all the folk out there with the Good News. I guess seeing Bean just reminded me of the life I was headed for, the life we were supposed to have, the life just like everybody else's. Apparently that there is something in my subconscious that has other plans for me, tho.

And those are just random musings, nothing to do with any more recent event than Monday evening and the head-mess it generated that is still sneaking up to tweak at my emotions.

Last night Varen came over. We went for all-you-can-eat sushi at Sakura and then watched two more episodes of House. It was just the sort of relaxed evening I needed with him, he really has been lovely thru this all. And probably better than I deserve right now, but I'll just bite my tongue on that and appreciate it while I can ;)

And that is all I have to say today ...


lordwiggly said...

Philly I think its great that you realise that you want that kind of life, but you want the right partner 'cos its a decision for the rest of your life. I hate to say this but in 3 years or so it will be the "divorce" phase. Would you rather get married and delude yourself into thinking you're happy, or wait for the right partner who makes you truly happy? As much as I want that kinda life too, I would rather be single and alone than with someone who doesn't appreciate or respect me. So hang in there, you and I will 'make it' too!

phillygirl said...

Thanks lordwiggly. Hmmm, I wonder if we'll get to go to any celebratory parties when the "divorce" phases kicks in, I know we got to enjoy loads when there are engagements, weddings and babies ;)

The Divine Miss M said...

You don't HAVE to be married by a certain point and having children by another one; it'll happen naturally once you find the right person and it really doesn't matter what age you are! Would you rather decide to do something so important and major just because you think you should because it is the right age and end up with someone who isn't the perfect guy or would you rather be happy? I'd rather only get married at 50 if it meant I was marrying the love of my life than be married in my 20's and have it not be.
In other words stop worrying not settling down and just live your life the way it happens!

Phlippy said...

OK, give me a while to read this and I'll be back...

The Divine Miss M said...

Haha, I'm just venting my frustrating from my housemate who also thought along those lines and now is just moaning, as she turned 27 on Tuesday, about how pathetic she is because she 1)isn't married 2)doesn't have children 3)isn't anywhere close enough in a relationship to even be thinking about getting married and 4)doesn't have a boyfriend.
She seems to think she is a failure because of that and it drives me insane because she is intelligent, beautiful and lovely it is just the stupid men that she chooses are not the type to even want to settle down. After an evening of her moaning I saw your post and just saw red ;)

phillygirl said...

@leigh - my dear divine miss M, let's see how you feel when you start pushing 30 ;) I'm sure it all seems miles away from you these days as you're not yet even at that mid-way point of 25 ... anyway, I know where you're coming from and that's also the point I was getting at. No matter how strong the pangs, I couldn't do the life-long thing with just anyone ... so I keep waiting and hoping till then :)

The Divine Miss M said...

You see though Philly my mother didn't get married till 34 and had me at 35 so I doubt that once I start "pushing 30" it'll bother me if I'm married or not because I grew up being taught that it isn't that important as long as you're with the person you should be with. I definitely can not visualise myself getting married anywhere in the near future (5 years) but then again I never know what is going to happen, I could meet someone and be married in a year! :)

phillygirl said...

@leigh - yup, it sure is plenty about whatever you've been brought up to believe is normal. My folks married when my mom was a young lass of 21 and had me mere months after her 22nd birthday - and yet I still arrived 4 months after the wedding ceremony ;) And on the flip side I have an aunt who has been "dating" her man since she was in std 9 (and she is older than my mom!) so, thanks to her I get to believe in people never needing to get married to spend the rest of their lives together ... strange.

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