Monday, November 19, 2012

Another Cape Town Visit

Shew. I certainly feel like I need a weekend to recover from my weekend! What I have definitely been is short on lazy lie-ins with The Trucker! Has been a crazy last few weeks and while things generally feel okay, things haven't really had time to settle because we've both been so busy.

I worked from home on Friday. Mostly to let the bunnies have a good run around and allow me to keep an eye on them. I am very happy to say that both Lily & Rex seem in perfect health still. I'll stop worrying after this week, but tonight will be their last dose of Panacur. The Trucker did an awesome job looking after and medicating them while I was gone :D

But that did mean I got to spend a little more time with him on Friday morning. He slept later and we both worked but we got to have breakfast together and there's just something about having someone just around your space that feels good :)

Later in the afternoon, I flew down to Cape Town for the weekend, for The Peeb's 30th Birthday Dinner on Saturday night. Our flight was delayed due to the weather tho, first time I've been sitting in a plane grounded due to hail! It was noisy. Haha.

When I arrived, Daddio and I headed to Rock for a late dinner. I had their Bang Bang Chicken ... I think that's what it was? It was like crispy chicken pieces with sesame seeds. Very nice. And then I fell asleep on the couch waiting for Mom to come and fetch me.

On Saturday, Mom & I did some shopping and a lot of prep for the big dinner. Mom decided to host all 13 guests for dinner at her house ... and cater! It worked out really well tho :) I made those skewers again and fried up some haloumi for the salad. Mom made potato salad and a green salad to go with the fillet and roast chicken. For dessert she'd been baking all week! We had little brownies, hazelnut meringues and lemon curds. No sticking to an eating plan here. Shew was absolutely stuffed by the end of it!

On Sunday morning we headed out to our Beach Cottage. We're going to be doing some renovations so needed to get everyone's agreement ... which with 6 owners is harder than you think!! Luckily I think some progress was made :) It was an absolutely beautiful day ... sadly I didn't have any time to enjoy more than the view because I had to head back to the airport for my flight home.

After a mad dash to do the weekly shop after landing, I headed home and was thrilled to see my bunnies again ... and The Trucker who came over after cricket at about 7pm.

My mind is in a weird place after spending time with my family, as it usually is ... I see my 20yr old cousin and I feel old. Well, I think the problem is that I don't feel old. I still feel young. But I am definitely starting to panic about my biological clock and what not. And I'm terrified for my relationship with The Trucker because I have huge doubts that he is going to want to have kids before he thinks he is ready ... and who knows if he'll ever be ready. But I've realised more than ever that I have very little time left (about 3 years) to get my family started. I hear my 17yr old cousins complaining to their 60yr old dad about how old he is and why didn't he have kids 10yrs earlier. I work out that if I have my kid at 35 and my kids have their kids then too ... I will be 70 before I have grandchildren ... which is always something I've looked forward to. I realise that this is the same age my gran was when my youngest cousins were born. I know without a doubt that they missed out on the things I got to enjoy about my grandparents. I have tried to adjust my mindset as much as I can ... my gran was 34 when she had my mom. But my mom was her youngest. I dunno how we get this right anymore. It is depressing me. More so because I feel quite alone .... although I know I have plenty of friends in similar situations, I feel alone because The Trucker doesn't really understand at all and isn't even close to being in the same place mentally. Are boys ever?

Life sure would be simpler if I didn't want kids. I used to think if I hadn't met someone I would do it alone ... which would involve moving home to Cape Town to ensure I had my folks for support, but I'm beginning to doubt if I could manage it anyway. Life: A lot more complicated than it should be. How do other people make it look so easy? People seem to be falling pregnant by accident all around me ...

1 comment:

Louisa said...

It's not easy - but I don't think it's supposed to be?

I bet if you wanted to you could definitely pull off the single mommy gig. First prize of course would be to have a partner in it with you, because rumour has it that this kind of arrangement is much better for finances and the odd 5 minutes of me-time. ;-)

I'm glad to hear the bunnies are doing good and that they didn't get sick too.

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