Thursday, December 20, 2012


Okay so things seem to be getting easier, slowly. Yeah, yeah time is the great healer and all that. I heard last night that it takes 10 days in a row of doing something for your brain to form a habit and accept something. Guess it's like that with missing someone too.

On Tuesday evening, The Trucker mailed me. It caused a bit of a meltdown. Basically he squashed any tiny flicker of hope I still had that we could work this out somehow. I've compromised as much as I can, but he is not budging an inch and isn't going to. His decision is still No.

I guess in some ways, after I'd cried it out, talked it out and calmed down, it has made it easier. Now there is no where to go from here for us. There will be no realisation that he loved me more than he is afraid of our future.

It's still terribly sad. And we had fun together, but I guess what I've been realising with all this talking is that the kid-thing was only the breaking point, the not negotiable. But the reality is that the foundation of our relationship just wasn't that strong. We had all this great stuff on the surface, but crunch time and hard times were not manageable. Which means we wouldn't have survived anyway.

I'll be okay.

I also can't believe how busy I've been. This week has been no different. On Tuesday evening I went to SCM, but left quite early because I was yawning my head off. Luckily my sleeping patterns seem to have gone back to normal. And there is no more waking up with pangs of The Trucker anymore, since his email.

Last night CollegeInstructor came over to collect the keys. He's house- and bunny-sitting while I'm in Cape Town. To be honest I dunno what I'd do without him. We went to Mumbai Grill (previously Mumbai Brasserie) for Chicken Mahknie for dinner. Yum. Clearly the eating plan is shot for December. Not going to gym either ... although now my brain could probably stand to be alone while I'm swimming, I am feeling more holiday-mode relaxing is in order. I have signed up for the January Boot Camp already tho :)

Haha, things are quiet at work and wouldn't you know it I've started to wonder where next year's holiday will be ... I am not yet sure if there'll be one what with the kitchen renovations, but one can dream a little. Good to find the optimism where you can, right? Although I am slightly devastated not to have anyone to be planning with. I did love dating another adventurer ;)

So I've been searching around the idea of cruising around Croatia or Greece. Maybe squeeze in some of Italy (since Pompeii is on my list!). Nothing exciting to tell yet and it looks like it'll be more expensive than I was hoping, honestly. But we'll see.

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