Thursday, May 31, 2007

A Night With the Amazing Music Group

Last night I went along to my second Amazing Music Group evening. It was held at a little restaurant in Norwood called, Siam I am (no web presence: Royal Thai Cuisine - 011 728 8972). It's not a bad restaurant although I think it was empty aside from us. The reason it's perfect for Music Group evenings is because they have a separate room at the back we can use and not disturb and other customers they may (or may not) have.

Other than that it wasn't a particularly spectacular Thai experience. The food was fine, not bad at all - I had Red Duck Curry. But I wasn't feeling well last night and I had to leave early (10:30). Aside from not feeling fantastic, Music Group was fun and it's always interesting to be exposed to different types of music, things you'd never hear on the radio ... I may not like all of it, but it's still a worthwhile experience. It's easier to make up your mind about what you do and don't like after you've actually listened to it :) Me, my favourite is still the stuff I can sing along to.

In a total aside,
this new place I'm in emotionally is quite strange to me. Sometimes I'm totally fine - sometimes this happens when I'm surrounded by people and distracted, sometimes it happens when I'm alone. Sometimes I miss Bean. I miss what we had, the easiness of knowing someone that well and being completely comfortable with them. Sometimes I miss Varen. I miss his enthusiasm for everything, including me. Sometimes I just miss someone ... does that make sense? It's not a specific person it's more like I'm missing sharing moments with anyone. Last night I wasn't feeling well and I especially missed having someone to come home to and cuddle with and fall asleep next to, someone loving me. Those are the hard times and I think they're worse in the dark. Somehow daytime makes life seem manageable and fires up my independent spirit and assures me I will survive and life will find it's way thru to the place it's supposed to be ... But sometimes, even the daylight isn't enough to assure me that things will be okay and that I didn't give up on something amazing ... twice. I guess it's all just part of the process. I find myself yearning for my life to start - like back in matric where you just knew everything was going to get better once you finished school and started life for real.

Anyway, I can't explain things much better than that ... but that's where I find myself, in a state of constant emotional flux. It gets quite exhausting actually.

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