Friday, October 15, 2010

About the Boys

Right so things are dismal in the boy-department these days ... and you may have noticed I haven't mentioned it at all here lately. I tend not to write about things that are really bothering me until after the fact.

The first thing has been annoying me since July but is thankfully over now. Varen. Now here's the thing. I've never been the least upset about our break-up (and don't get me wrong, I'm still not!), but I'm not a stay-friends-after-the-fact kinda girl. Hell, with him I didn't even like him as a person by the time we broke up, so why would I want to stay friends at all. On top of which (even if I did), he had a brand new girlfriend the day after I moved out anyhow, so I wouldn't have thought he'd bother with even attempting to interact with me. Which was all absolutely fine by me.

I mentioned briefly in August my attempt to get something of mine that he found back from him, which didn't end well. Would you believe it has been dragging on since then with him only delivering it to my office on Wednesday (yes, from his first email telling me about it in July it took till October to actually get it!). I won't even go into just how many times he said he'd drop it off by whenever and never actually did. Being dragged back into the situation and interacting with him has quietly driven me nuts ... relying on someone who never sticks to what they say they're going to do. It's like this weird kind of control it exerts which I don't like one bit. And yes, you may say I should've just gone and gotten it from him myself, but I'll remind you I tried that and he conveniently "forgot" he was going to be away that weekend and also forgot to tell me. So I wasn't about to allow myself to be strung around like that again. Anyway, I have my paws on my stuff once again (all of it irreplaceable and I am absolutely thrilled to have it back!) and hope to never have to deal with him again (highly likely as he leaves the country this weekend - can you feel the pure joy in my words as I type that? It's there, I promise). The cherry on top for me was the night a few weeks ago when he smsed to tell me about his impending departure and had the cheek to ask if I wanted to see him before he left. I laughed out loud at that one. Honestly, how can you convey to someone that even if you never date another person ever again, your life is still better off purely because you aren't with them any more. Because honestly, that's the truth. I was a miserable, depressed person while with him and although all is not quite 100% in my life (the hunt for someone who interests me is still on), I'm a much happier and emotionally lighter person these days. Although admittedly occasionally lonely, not for company, but for someone to share things with in a more-than-just-friends way. But for now, I have many friends keeping me busy too :)

The second thing that's been getting me down is this whole being single thing. I mean yeah, I knew the novelty of it would wear off before the end of the year, and I'm here to tell you that it has. Luckily I'm not the sort who will settle for just anybody in the meantime tho. So although I'm a little blue at not having found someone just yet, I'm still my ever-practical self and dealing with it as such. I think it's been worse lately because I did actually find someone I was interested in actually getting to know better, maybe even dating ... but after a lovely 3 weeks in Peru all I was left with was a 6hr time-difference, a few emails and an ongoing exchange of twitter messages. Sigh. Freaking typical. And I miss hanging out with him (we did spend an awful lot of time together in Peru and you get used to having someone around you). Although it did completely surprise me to meet someone I rather liked while in a tour group (it's never happened before in all my years of tour-group travel), I wasn't surprised it took me leaving the country to actually meet someone ... I'm so busy here, but I'm still not meeting anyone new. And therein lies my real problem. I'm not meeting anyone new.

Oh, and then there was InternetDatingBoy ... who I was still in vague email contact with after getting back from Peru. We even got to the point of agreeing we should finally meet in person and swapped phone numbers. But his last message said he'd call me to organise something and two & half weeks later I still haven't heard a word. And just like that, we're back to my sheer lack of interest in signing up for another unreliable person and so I haven't bothered to mail him since (neither has he). Although I wasn't really expecting anything more than a new friend to come of meeting him ... he must have other friends I could meet and potentially have been interested in ;) Ah well.

But I have just recently adjusted my internet dating write-up and become slightly more assertive, because let's face it, it's more true to life ;) And things are looking more interesting ... although there's no one I'm regularly chatting with yet. I've also signed up to go speed dating again. I think I prefer speed dating to internet dating, I like to actually meet the people in a non-committal way ... better than trying to do it in the more purposeful one-on-one kind of way that internet dating requires. I think at this point my ideal would be to arrange a speed dating evening with about 7 - 10 of the boys who's online profiles have caught my eye. Now that would suit me much better! Haha. Also, I wish all these over 40s would stop favouriting me and messaging me. Seriously.

So yeah, I'm trying to be as pro-active as I can and not get too down about the situation, but it is all rather out of my control honestly.


Ruby said...

Totally getting where you're coming from. While being single isn't horrible or anything...there are times when it can be quite depressing. Times when you need to share something with a special someone. *hugs* I know you'll find him:)

Tamara said...

I did read this when you posted, but Blogger wouldn't let me comment, so I'm back to try again...

I'm happy for you that you finally got your stuff from Varen. Can't believe he's actually leaving the country! I don't believe in being buddy buddy with ex-boyfriends either, although some people seem to manage it well.

Sorry some of your prospects didn't work out :( But I'm sure an interesting boy will come along soon.

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