Thursday, December 06, 2012


Yesterday was better. Calmer. Still a dull ache. Could I just wake up and realise this has all been a dreadful dream?

I discovered this morning that he hid his relationship status on Facebook last night ... I did it weeks ago, when things first got weird, but that's not the sort of thing he'd notice. We're still in a relationship on Facebook, it's just that no one else can see it now. Why does that hurt so much? Why can I not set it back to single?

I know I should take down the photos I have of us hanging above my bed. I can't. I can't bring myself to admit that it's over for real, for ever. Damn, and I was doing so well yesterday. Now I'm crying again. Can someone dehydrate from crying too many tears?

I kept myself busy last night with a catch-up dinner with The Housemate (who is up from Cape Town for DJMike's wedding this weekend) and CollegeInstructor at Gourmet Garage. Haha, The Housemate (Beukes) and I are starting a trend, of having dinner every time I break up :P

The thing I have realised is just how many friends I have. Not that I didn't know before, but I've had people checking up on me every single day. And sometimes it's hard and I don't want to talk or be reminded of the sorry sad situation I find myself in. I am the car wreck people are stopping to watch, to remind them that their lives are okay and better and they have things to be grateful for, I guess. Sometimes that's how it feels. I know that's not fair on them. I know mostly they really are just concerned for my well being. And there really is nothing they can do or say, other than maybe pass a tissue and a hug?

I am amazed at the camaraderie I'm finding amongst other recently single friends. Sheesh. I am surrounded. I'm glad I've got my appointment later today with the new therapist.

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